


setters chatfic

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Humor, Lowercase, Multi, Swearing, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28711911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: bara arms kink :tOBIO CHAN GO TEXT CHIBI CHAN TELL HIM YOURE GONNA COME HOME TO MAMAsakuatsu wingman :i already didsakishima :waitsakishima :what the fucksakishima :did you text him "baby im coming home to mama" or shit?moniwa = defeated :this gUY OMGcow fucker :LMAOor, in which kageyama creates a groupchat for the setters, but volleyball is a rare topic.( hiatus - school )
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Goshiki Tsutomu/Koganegawa Kanji, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hiroo Kouji/Sakishima Isumi, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Comments: 66
Kudos: 405





	1. 001

**Author's Note:**

> this is just me typing any weird shit that comes to mind, in other words, cocaine

**kageyama** added **sugawara, kenma, akaashi, shirabu, yahaba** and **koganegawa** to the chat.

 **kageyama** named the groupchat 'setters'.

 **sugawara :** you did it kageyama!

 **kageyama :** yes i did

 **yahaba :** karasuno's setters ?

 **kenma :** why am i here

 **akaashi :** ^^

 **kageyama :** suga san told me that i should i make a setters groupchat id wanted to

 **kageyama :** and i wanted to,

 **kageyama :** so i made a groupchat

 **yahaba :** wow ok

 **koganegawa :** wah!! a setters groupchat!!

 **shirabu :** why am i alive

 **sugawara :** kageyama you forgot oikawa and semi from shiratorizawa!

 **kageyama :** no

 **shirabu :** no

 **kageyama :** i dont want oikawa-san here

 **sugawara :** thats not nice kageyama >:(

 **shirabu :** semi is not an official setter dont worry about it

 **sugawara :** ...

 **yahaba :** ...

 **yahaba :** im not an official setter too you fucking coconut head

 **yahaba** added **semi** to the chat.

 **shirabu :** fuck you

 **semi :** what's this ?

 **kenma :** a setters groupchat apparently

 **semi :** ayo kenma how are things with you and rooster head doing

 **kenma :** WHAT

 **kenma :** SEMI WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT JIM HERE WTF

 **semi :** i wasnt talking about 'jim'

 **kenma :** SEMI YOUVJDHDJSHCS

 **akaashi :** you know him kozume kun ?

 **kenma :** i met him at nationals last year thinking that he was a cool guy bUT I REGRET MY DECISIONS VERY MUCH

 **semi :** you dont ;)

 **shirabu :** how can you think semi-san was a cool guy ?

 **semi :** literally shut the fuck up :)

 **shirabu :** no u :)

 **yahaba :** can you not have your lovers' quarrel here

 **semi :** what the fuck

 **shirabu :** what the fuck

 **akaashi** **:** you guys arent dating ?

 **shirabu :** in what flying fucking way did you consider the idea of me, shirabu kenjirou, dating semi eita ?

 **semi :** in what flying fucking way did you consider the idea of me, semi eita, dating shirabu kenjirou ?

 **shirabu :** STOP COPYING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT

 **semi :** IM NOT COPYING YOU ??

 **akaashi :** this.

 **kageyama** **:** stop 😩

 **shirabu :** hUH

 **kenma :** WGAT

 **sugawara :** KAGEYAMA WHY DID YOY USE TJAT EMOJI

 **yahaba :** THAT SOUNDED SO WROGN WAHT

 **akaashi :** so wrong that you guys became illiterate

 **kageyama :** tanaka san said that you use that everytime you say stop

 **sugawara :** of course he did.

 **semi :** LMAO

 **semi :** btw wheres oikawa ? isn't he a setter too ?

 **kageyama :** no

 **semi :** what ?

 **kageyama :** no

 **semi :** im confused

 **kageyama :** no

 **sugawara :** kageyama >:(

 **sugawara** added **oikawa** to the chat.

 **kageyama :** tch

 **oikawa :** HI WJATS THIS

 **semi :** a setters groupchat

 **semi :** hey oiks

 **oikawa :** HI SEMI

 **akaashi :** why do i feel like semi knows everyone everyone except me

 **shirabu :** you're living the best life

 **semi :** fuck you

 **yahaba :** yea you can do that

 **yahaba :** anyways

 **shirabu :** what the fuck yahaba

 **oikawa :** woa yahaba i didnt know you liked that stuff ;)

 **yahaba :** WHAT

 **yahaba :** I WAS TALKING ABIUT SEMI NOT ME

 **oikawa :** damn why you so defensive ;)

 **sugawara :** i feel like shit goes down when oikawa winks twice

 **koganegawa :** shit ?

 **sugawara :** fuck

 **akaashi :** oh no

 **koganegawa :** fuck ?

 **kageyama :** suga san you said i couldnt say does words

 **kageyama :** those this mean i can say it now ?

 **kenma :** love how you switched the 'does' and 'those'

 **sugawara :** no kageyama dont say that

 **s** **ugawara :** it just slipped out dont use it jdhfhsjf

 **kageyama :** fuck

 **kageyama :** it slipped out

 **oikawa :** WOA TOBIO-CJAN

 **akaashi :** thats kinda badass ngl

 **semi :** HE REALLY JUST DID THAT

 **sugawara :** i

 **akaashi :** hes reconsidering his life choices

 **yahaba :** ANYWAYS, as i was sAYING,

 **yahaba :** kenma

 **kenma :**...

 **kenma :** semi i hate you

 **semi :** im telling you, thats not possible ;)

 **shirabu :** i might say otherwise

 **oikawa :** lmao shirabu you cant say shit you love him

 **yahaba :** "iwa chan i love your bara hands so much please choke me"

 **sugawara :** UHM-

 **oikawa :** oh so this is what we're doing ?

 **oikawa :** okay ;)

 **yahaba :** WAIT NO-

 **oikawa :** "I HATE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE FUCK ME KYOUTANI"

 **shirabu :** LMAO YAHABA WHAT THE FUCK

 **yahaba :** INHALE

 **yahaba :** *INSERT OIKAWA SCREAMING IWACHAN IN THE CLUBROOM*

 **semi :** WHAT THE FUCK.

 **semi** sent a photo to the groupchat.

**sugawara :** KAGEYAMA CLOSE YOUR EYES

 **kageyama :** ok

 **oikawa :** "KYOUTANI'S SO HOT BUT I HATE HIM AND HIS HOT ASS BECAUSE I LOVE HIM THATS WHY I HATE HIM"

 **kenma :** why am i here

 **yahaba :** HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT-

 **yahaba :** FINE STOP PLEASE OIKAWA YOURE THE BEST SENPAI ILL CLEAN UP THE MESS YOU MADE IN THE CLUBROOM

 **oikawa :** LITERALLY FUCK YOU AND YOUR MAD DOG CHAN

 **semi :** OH MY GOD

 **sugawara :** THERE ARE KIDS HERE

 **oikawa :** NO, SUGA, WE ALL KNOW KAGEYAMA'S HORNY FOR CHIBI CHAN SHUT IT

 **sugawara :** GASP

 **sugawara :** EXCUSE ME ???

 **akaashi :** oop he snapped

 **kenma :** dONT INVOLVE SHOYO IN THIS HES PURE

 **oikawa :** YOU THINK ?

 **oikawa** added **hinata** to the chat.

 **hinata :** a setters groupchat ?

 **hinata :** hi!!

 **kageyama :** fuck

 **oikawa :** HINATA TELL THESE STUPID ASS GUYS THAT YOURE NOT A FIVE YEAR OLD TODDLER THAT CANT SAY FUCK

 **hinata :** oh

 **hinata :** im sorry stupid ass guys but i can say fuck

 **sugawara :** WHAT

 **sugawara :** HINATA THATS NOT A GOOD WORD

 **hinata :** AND ?

 **hinata :** IM 16 OF COURSE I KNOW SHIT

 **akaaahi :** WOA.

 **kenma :** shoyo no

 **hinata :** oh

 **hinata :** hi kenma!!

 **kenma :** hello shoyo :)

 **semi :** the way he switched back to normal 😃

 **semi :** btw kageyama youre pretty quiet

 **kageyama :** im silently

 **kageyama :** silent

 **shirabu :** what the fuck

 **hinata :** hi kageyama!!

 **kageyama :** ...

 **kageyama :** dumbass

 **sugawara :** OKAY KIDS GOODNIGHT

 **hinata :** uh ill do the honors and get the fuck out

 **hinata** left the chat.

 **semi :** what in the world just-

 **akaashi :** this new flavor of hinata is interesting

 **sugawara :** IN WHAT WAY-

 **sugawara :** OIKAWA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM

 **oikawa :** EDUCATING HIM

 **sugawara :** AND WHAT DID YOU EDUCATE HIM ABOUT ?

 **oikawa :** oh

 **oikawa :** things a 16 yr old would probably know?

 **sugawara :** i

 **sugawara :** literally no words

 **semi :** you guys are so gay

 **kenma :** and youre not ?

 **oikawa :** LMAO

 **oikawa :** SEMI DONT SEENZONE US

 **shirabu :** semi-san thats new

 **semi :** im not gay lol hahaha i dont like boys nahhh

 **akaashi :** wow im so convinced

 **oikawa :** dont worry semi everyone here is gay ;)

 **akaashi :** except me

 **kenma :** "bokuto-san is so hot"

 **akaashi :** ...okay, maybe a little.

 **kenma :** "hes so stupid i love him so much"

 **yahaba :** "a little"

 **shirabu :** again, why am i here

 **semi :** can you not complain for once you bratty little ass

 **shirabu :** where did you get the idea of my ass being little ?

 **semi :** that's not what i- okay-

 **kageyama :** 😩

 **sugawara :** kAGEYAMA NO

 **sugawara :** GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY SLEEP WELL

 **everyone** is offline.

 **yahaba :** i didnt even get the chance to talk 🧍🏻♂️


	2. 002

2:04AM

**semi :** no satori hes just too cute i cant

 **kenma :** i was killed in a minecraft minigame because of this notif i swear to-

 **kenma :** wait WHAt

 **semi :** huh

 **semi :** oh

 **semi :** OH

 **semi :** CRAP

 **semi** deleted a message.

 **semi :** kENMA I BEG YOU

 **semi :** PLEASE DONT TELL THE OTHERS

 **kenma :** what's in it for me ?

 **semi :** hentai reccommendations and a new game console

 **kenma :** skip the reccommendations

 **semi :** tHANK YOU KENMA I-

 **kenma :** stOp right there

 **kenma :** sleep

 **semi :** LMAO SAYS YOU

 **kenma :** fuck you

 **semi :** i prefer someone else to do that, so i reject your offer

 **kenma :** WOW OKAY I SEE HOW IT IS

 **semi :** OKAY KENMA SHUSH OR YOULL SOUND SUS

 **semi :** SPEAK AND NO GAME CONSOLE YA HEAR THAT ?

 **kenma :** yessir

2:15AM

**akaashi :** what happened here ?

 **kenma :** nothing

 **semi :** yea nothing happened lol

 **akaashi :** mhm, yea, very convincing

 **shirabu :** semi-san you dont know how to lie

 **shirabu :** kenma spill

 **semi :** speak and no game console

 **kenma :** hear that ?

 **kenma :** you guys already owe me fore being involved in my already useless life so let me have this game console

 **sugawara :** ...kenma are you okay

 **kenma :** lol no

 **yahaba :** what the fuck it's two am

 **yahaba :** sugawara-san i thought you were supposed to be the mom

 **sugawara :** even my own teammates wont listen to me, i dont have high hopes for y'all 😃

 **akaashi :** y'all

 **shirabu :** you think suga-san is the mom ?

 **shirabu :** wait till you see semi-san

 **semi :** wait no

 **semi :** shirabu no

 **shirabu :** what's in it for me ?

 **semi :** I MIGHT GO BROKE PLEASE HAVE MERCY

 **semi :** or do you want reccommendations-

 **yahaba :** okay but what did semi do

 **semi :** a roasting goshiki free pass for one day.

 **shirabu :** nvm

 **kenma :** ohoho who is this goshiki ?

 **shirabu :** semi's child apparently

 **semi :** SHIRABU-

 **semi :** SHIRABU THAT'S THE SAME AS SELLING ME OUT

 **semi :** I FUCKING TAKE BACK THE FREE PASS

 **shirabu :** WHAT WHY YOU JUST EXPOSED YOURSELF

 **semi :** I FUCKING DID NOT

 **akaashi :** chile while mom and dad fight,

 **yahaba :** LMAO

 **akaashi :** where's oikawa ?

 **akaashi :** shouldn't he be the loudest one at this hour ?

 **oikawa :** HERE I FUCKING AM

 **oikawa :** YAHABA

 **oikawa :** I JUST REALISED

 **oikawa :** WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU HEAR ME MOAN IN THE FUCKING CLUBROOM ????

 **oikawa :** ME AND IWACHAN ARENT EVEN DATING

 **yahaba :** lol i lied

 **yahaba :** you were panicking so it was an instant win at the moment

 **oikawa :** what.

 **semi :** aw wait so you guys havent dated :(

 **oikawa :** WHY DO YOU SOUND DISAPPOINTED YES WE HAVENT

 **oikawa :** im scared to ask him out lol hahahaha

 **semi :** oikawa-

 **semi :** oikawa you're head over heels for him-

 **kageyama :** hi

 **sugawara :** CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE BRING THIS SUBJECT TO PRIVATE MESSAGES NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW IF OIKAWA LIKE IWAIZUMI ITS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS

 **kageyama :** what

 **oikawa :** oh my GOD tobio-chan

 **oikawa :** chibi-chan is more educated than you

 **kageyama :** can you teach me then, oikawa-san ?

 **sugawara :** nO-

 **oikawa :** sure ;)

 **oikawa** changed their name to **sensei**.

 **sensei :** from now on call me sensei ;)

 **semi :** oikawa-

 **kageyama :** ok sensei

 **kenma :** oh my god

 **shirabu :** can we please get back to the mom topic

 **semi :** no pls

 **akaashi :** so my guess is that semi treats this 'goshiki' like his child ?

 **shirabu :** if giving him bento boxes every thursday, protecting him from every kind of harm, babying him and raising his ego and shielding him from negative thoughts is like treating him as a child to you, then yes

 **shirabu :** one point for ya akaashi

 **semi :** ...i hate you

 **sensei :** LMAO SEMI

 **sensei :** HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR HIS KOUHAIS

 **sensei :** don't baby him too much tho shirabu might get jealous ;)

 **akaashi :** lol so semi treats all his precious kouhais like babies

 **semi :** -except for shirabu, yes.

 **yahaba** sent a photo to the groupchat.

**semi :** omg yahaba stop sending memes you stole from a reaction meme instagram account

 **yahaba :** woa woa woa

 **yahaba :** but the account is private

 **semi :** oh hahaha i follow them, duh

 **yahaba :** your username isnt in the followers list

 **akaashi :** in conclusion, semi eita owns a reaction memes account

 **semi :** CHOTTO MATTE

 **semi :** THERE ARE A LOT OF REACTION MEME ACCOUNTS WHO CAN REPOST IT COULDVE BEEN FROM ANYONE ???

 **shirabu :** idk semi-san you're kinda defensive now

 **semi :** i

 **semi :** im defeated

 **sensei :** and i thought mattsun and makki were the meme gods

 **semi :** they are ???

 **semi :** our cult has a beautiful dynamic you see, oikawa, including the fact that it consists of a meme-loving gay couple and a single bisexual disaster

 **kageyama :** shiratorizawa's pinch server likes boys too ??

 **sugawara :** well yea that's how it is kageyama 

**sugawara :** 🥰 

**sensei :** YOU GUYS HAVE A WHAT

 **yahaba :** THEYRE A COUPLE ??

 **sensei :** well yea creampuff did you not see the amount of pda they have in the groupchat ?

 **yahaba :** i-

 **yahaba :** THEY WERE CALLING EACH OTHER PET NAMES SINCE MY FIRST YEAR I TJOUGHT IT WAS ONLY A STUPID JOKEY THING THEY DO

 **semi :** oh it is

 **yahaba :** oh no

 **yahaba :** no no no

 **yahaba :** dont come for my sanity pls

 **shirabu :** so is that why you dont come to tendou-san's dorm for manga reading sessions anymore ?

 **shirabu :** because you're running a meme account, and not because you were still crying about that one shoujo manga he lent you ?

 **semi :** shirABU FUCKING KENJIROU STOP WITH THIS EXPOSING SPREE

 **semi :** WHY DO YOU KNOW MY EVERY FUCKING MOVE I MAKE

 **shirabu :** maybe because tendou-san complains about it at the team in morning practices where you always arrive fifteen minutes after warm-ups.

 **yahaba :** -or he just stares at you a lot

 **shirabu :** yahaba, literally, go to hell

 **akaashi :** this is a very interesting series of events

 **akaashi :** you should share more, shirabu-kun

 **shirabu :** gladly

 **semi :** NO

 **sugawara :** oh yea i forgot

 **sugawara :** since no one's gonna bring it up,

 **sugawara :** kageyama got invited to the all-japan youth intensive training camp!

 **kageyama :** oh yea i did

 **kageyama :** im very happy

 **sensei :** ...

 **sensei :** wOw tObiO chAn cOngrAtUlatiOns

 **kageyama :** thank you sensei

 **kenma :** not kageyama still listening to oikawa

 **semi :** oikawa u still breathing ?

 **sensei :** yes daddy 😩

 **shirabu :** ...woa

 **yahaba :** oikawa ???

 **yahaba :** iS THIS HOW IT IS ??

 **yahaba :** SO WHEN SEMI'S AROUND IWAIZUMI SAN JUST DOESNT EXIST HUH

 **sensei :** yAHABA YOU GOT IT WRONG DONT SAY THAT SHIRABU'S GONNA GET JEALOUS

 **shirabu :** i literally dont care even the slightest bit

 **sensei :** IT'S A FUCKING JOKE YAHABA DO YOU NEED ME TO FUCKING EXPLAIN TO YOU THE DEFINITION OF A FUCKING JOKE YOU FUCKING BRAINLESS LITTLE MAD DOG FUCKING SHIT ??

 **akaashi :** count how many times oikawa can put 'fucking' in a sentence

 **semi :** calling me daddy caused this much chaos ?

 **shirabu :** you're literally the opposite, mommy

 **shirabu** changed semi's name to **mommy.**

 **mommy :** i am very much daddy thank you very much

 **sugawara :** is this-

 **sugawara :** am i really witnessing this conversation right now-

 **yahaba :** question of the day ; is semi eita daddy or mommy ?

 **oikawa :** yOUR NOT GETTING AWAY SO FAST YAHABA

 **yahaba** sent a photo to the groupchat.

**mommy :** that's from my meme account too

 **shirabu :** okay mommy literally no one gives a fuck

 **mommy :** okay brat, your thoughts are irrelevant

 **shirabu :** you wouldnt reply if it was irrelevant

 **mommy :** i needed to inform you, i thought a smart student like you'd figure that out

 **shirabu :** semi-san, you were literally arguing about how you're a 'daddy', which you clearly arent

 **mommy :** we*

 **akaashi :** love how shirabu is constantly hiding his gay for semi

 **shirabu :** love how i don't give a fuck

 **mommy :** dont pick fights with other people

 **shirabu :** ^^ mommy energy.

 **sugawara :** OH MY FUCKING GOD

 **sugawara :** CAN YOU GUYS FUCKING WRAP IT UP

 **sugawara :** THIS STARTED WITH ME BRINGING UP KAGEYAMA'S INVITATION TO THE TRAINING CAMP HOW DID IT COME TO THIS

 **mommy** **:** oikawa called me daddy

 **sugawara** **:** STOP

 **sugawara :** GO TO SLEEP IT'S ALMOST THREE AM

 **sensei :** yes mommy 😩

7:32AM

**koganegawa :** uhh...

 **koganegawa :** what happened...???


	3. 003

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw ?? // spider photo

11:53PM

**shirabu :** please.

 **shirabu :** please tell semi-san that it's not normal to keep a tarantula in his dorm.

 **yahaba :** UH-

 **sugawara :** IT'S NOT NORMAL TO KEEP A TARANTULA IN YOUR DORM

 **sensei :** SEMI HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND

 **sensei :** WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON ??

 **kageyama :** tarantulas are furry

 **mommy :** WHY SHIRABU

 **mommy :** WHY MUST YOU EXPOSE ME EVERY FUCKING TIME

 **mommy :** YOU'RE NOT EVEN ROOMMATES WITH ME AND SATORI'S COOL WITH IT

 **shirabu :** yes, tendou-san is cool about it because hE WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING SUGGESTED THAT YOU KEEP IT

 **shirabu :** AT LEAST DONT BRING IT TO PRACTICE ?? AND LET IT CRAWL ON THE MFING THE BENCH ?? THAT SHITS CREEPY ASF STOP

 **mommy :** oh my GOD im not planning to keep it geez

 **yahaba :** so you'll kill it ?

 **mommy :** what ? nahh im not THAT cruel

 **mommy :** me, hayato and satori are gonna prank coach washijo with him 😋

 **sugawara :** THATS-

 **sugawara :** THATS WORSE ???

 **sensei :** ISNT COACH WASHIJO THE OLD ONE THAT ALWAYS YELLS

 **sensei :** YOU THINK THAT'D BE A GOOD IDEA ??

 **shirabu :** i- wha-

 **shirabu :** you'll most likely get your phone confiscated or even get suspended.

 **mommy :** so ?

 **mommy :** this aint about that

 **mommy :** tota is hella cute coach washijo would adore him <3

 **yahaba :** YOU GAVE HIM A NAME-

 **sugawara :** IN WHAT FUCKING WAY

 **sensei :** IS IT WEED ? IS THAT WHAT YOU SMOKE ?

 **mommy :** STOP SCREAMING THROUGH MY PHONE GDI

 **mommy :** i'll prove that he's cute

 **shirabu :** omg.

 **shirabu :** please dont tell me

 **mommy** sent a photo to the groupchat.

**sensei :** SEMI FUCKING EITA

 **yahaba :** NO NO NO NO NO

 **kageyama :** he is furry

 **kageyama :** but very crawly

 **sugawara :** KAGEYAMA WHY ARE YOU NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT FAZED

 **kageyama :** what does that word mean

 **kenma :** if that creature appears on my bed tonight im blocking you.

 **akaashi :** ^^

 **mommy :** you guys are so mean to him 💔

 **mommy :** look at him and his fluffy ass cheek️

 **sensei :** ASS CHEEK ?

 **sensei :** IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE AN ASS

 **akaashi :** you can relate

 **sensei :** sHUT

 **sugawara :** im scared.

 **sugawara :** is this the real semi eita ?

 **yahaba :** shirabu, is he mentally challenged ?

 **shirabu :** i dont even fucking know anymore

 **mommy :** YOU GUYS ARE OVERREACTING

 **mommy :** LOOK AT HIS TINY FEET

 **kageyama :** creepy crawly

 **yahaba :** yeah, the ones it uses to CRAWL ON YOUR FUCKING BED

 **mommy :** he just want cuddles 💔

 **shirabu :** are you drunk ?

 **yahaba :** he's going all softie for a goddamn tarantula

 **kageyama :** spider is furry

 **sensei :** STOP

 **shirabu :** i can hear a lot of laughing in the next dorm room what the fuck

 **mommy :** Hello, this is Ushijima. The other third years, Semi, Yamagata and Tendou were laughing while sending messages to this groupchat, so I am here to apologize if they were acting strange and to Shirabu for bothering you.

 **sensei :** EW USHIWAKA EW PROPER PUNCTUATION EW GRAMMAR

 **mommy :** Hello Oikawa.

 **sugawara :** the way he could guess it was you

 **shirabu :** sigh

 **akaashi :** you deal with this every day shirabu ?

 **akaashi :** i can feel you having one childish senpai, not THREE

 **shirabu :** you shouldnt come to shiratorizawa

 **sensei** **:** PREECH

 **mommy** **:** HI

 **sugawara** **:** semi ?

 **mommy :** NOPE

 **mommy :** IM HAYATO

 **mommy :** I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT SEMI EITA IS A FURRY

 **sugawara :** W H A T.

 **kenma :** blackmail material number 24

 **mommy :** IM NOT A FURRY

 **mommy :** PLEASE DONT TRUST HAYATO

 **mommy :** AND WHATS WITH THE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL KENMA IT BETTER NOTNHAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR NEW GAME CONSOLE

 **kenma :** nooooo i wouldnt do thattt

 **kenma :** neverrr hahahah nooo

 **kageyama :** you will not be your spider

 **kageyama :** spider furry

 **yahaba :** kageyama you're not making any sense right now 😃

 **mommy :** ALRIGHT LISTEN UP SISTERS

 **shirabu :** s i s t e r s

 **mommy :** SHUT SHUT

 **mommy :** YOU WILL ALL LISTEN TO ME

 **mommy :** AND I DEMAND YOU TO TURN OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO TO SLEEP

 **mommy :** WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF TONIGHT AGAIN

 **kenma :** you should've said that before i screenshotted everything

 **mommy :** AHSAHSHHS

 **mommy :** SEMISEMI FELL ASLEEP

 **mommy :** HIS FRIENDS ARE SO FUNNY LMAO

 **mommy :** WE'RE STILL DOING IT THO SHIRABU DONT STOP US

 **shirabu :** wasnt planning to

 **sugawara :** ok goodnight kids sleep tight

 **sensei :** yes mommy 😩

 **sugawara :** OIKAWA NO

2:49AM

**sensei :** guys omg iwa-chan said he loved me in my dream

8:24AM

**shirabu :** update : all of their phones are getting confiscated for three weeks

  
 **sensei :** WHAT

 **sensei :** EVEN SEMI ?

 **shirabu :** well yea

 **sugawara :** i thought he was asleep ?

 **shirabu :** no they all got punished for hanging out at yamagata-san's dorm at midnight in the first place

 **sensei :** SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT SEMI CANT REPLY FOR TJREE WEEKS?

 **shirabu :** who said i cant ?

 **shirabu** deleted a message.

 **shirabu :** um ignore that

 **yahaba :** WAS TJAT SEMI

 **shirabu :** NO

 **shirabu :** GOODBYE


	4. 004

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre in a videocall in this hehe

4:56PM

**sensei :** GUYS GUYS GUYS

 **sugawara :** yes oikawa ?

 **sensei :** CAN I CALL YOU GUYS

 **sensei :** bECAUSE i have no idea how half of you look like and iwa-chan is ignoring me :(

 **yahaba :** oikawa-san he's practicing serves

 **sensei :** ok and ???

 **akaashi :** that doesnt sound bad actually

 **koganegawa :** i can too !!

 **yahaba :** oh look the author finally remembers to put kogane in here

 **sou :** shut up 😐

 **kageyama :** suga-san can we ?

 **sugawara :** sure !

 **shirabu :** lol no

 **sensei :** PARTY POOPER >:(

 **yahaba :** shirabu dont be a dick

 **shirabu :** im not

 **shirabu :** this is the normal me <3

 **kenma :** guys i got a boner in class

 **kenma :** kuro is too hot 😩

 **sugawara :** ...kenma ?

 **sensei :** woa kenma i can relate

 **yahaba :** WHAT

 **yahaba :** SO NOW YOU LIKE KUROO HUH ?

 **sensei :** UH WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM

 **sensei :** NO I MEANT THAT WITH IWACHAN YOU DUMB FUCK WHY ARE YOU FUCKING QUESTIONING EVERY FUCKING WORD I FUCKING SAY

 **kageyama :** oikawa did a 'fucking' festival

 **sugawara :** kageyama- that doesnt sound right 😳

 **sugawara :** dont say that again pls

 **yahaba :** im keeping an eye on you for someone

 **sensei :** SO YOURE A FUCKING SPY NOW ??

 **sensei** changed yahaba's name to **fucking spy**.

 **fucking spy :** oikawa-san CALM DOWN

 **kenma :** lmao yall are so funny 💀

 **fucking spy :** hold tf up... this aint kenma...

 **akaashi :** kuroo get out

 **kenma :** NO >:(

 **sugawara :** ohh so kuroo called himself hot

 **sugawara :** oikawa def can relate

 **sensei :** SUGA >:(

 **kenma :** fine yall are mean 😔

 **akaashi :** good

 **sensei :** anywho,,,,

 **sensei :** im gonna click the video call button and you guys are going to pick up 😋

 **shirabu :** i said no

 **shirabu :** im busy

 **sensei :** thats not stopping me 😍

_incoming group call from_ **_setters_ ** _._

(pretty) faces started showing up on all of their phones, followed by oikawa grinning. he looked like he was in his bed, rolling down from it while setting his phone on the table.

"you guys actually picked up," oikawa said in quite the surprise, while the others just shrugged.

"i don't know what your mood tomorrow would be if we didn't," yahaba muttered.

"hey guys!" koganegawa greets, and the others smiled at his baby energy.

the others talked-

"shirabu, pick up your goddamn phone!"

"it went quiet, didn't it- semi-san, don't pause the movie, for fuck's sake!"

"just- give me your phone, dammit!"

"no silly, it's probably _them_ ,"

little did they know, shirabu's hand (elbow? foot?) already accidently picked up the call. they all stayed quiet for the moment, giving each other knowing looks and smirks while they listen to them bantering, _definitely_ not questioning why they were watching a movie together.

in the screen, they could see shirabu from a low angle, assumingly because he put his phone beside him. semi was barely in the camera before he came closer, reaching for shirabu's phone which caused shirabu to stop him by taking his wrist. 

"who's them-"

they both froze when they saw smirking faces on the screen (except for kageyama i made him extra stupid in this) before looking at each other and blushing.

"semi-san, i think you should-"

"yep, i'll get out."

semi scoots out of there, leaving shirabu facepalming with both of his hands. a fake cough from all of them (except kageyama, self-explanatory) interrupts.

"busy, you said?" yahaba starts, a smirk that makes shirabu want to punch the screen on his face.

"what were you guys doing, exactly?" the same smirk yahaba had spread to oikawa, and then to the rest of them.

shirabu's head shoot upwards from his hands, with an are-you-fucking-shitting-me look on his face. "uh, i don't know, what did it look like?" he says, very aware if the fact that they already saw everything.

"were you guys cuddling?" suga asks.

"uhh- _no_ , wait- you guys think we're dating?"

"duhh," they all groaned in disappointment.

"or at least, an enemies to lovers, mutual pining, angst with happy ending kind of trope," akaashi adds.

"GASP- akaashi reads fanfics?" oikawa says in shock,

"did you just- did you just say gasp literally-"

"okay, but what does akaashi read?"

_yes, yes, talk about akaashi, not about me or semi_ -

"no, absolutely not, we can talk about akaashi later, we have a more important case right now," yahaba interrupts, making shirabu scowl.

"yahaba, _suffer in hell_ ,"

(kageyama is watching them awkwardly while kenma is just watching with amusement please bare with me)

"me and semi-san just watch movies when taichi is busy with yamagata-san, there's nothing else," shirabu explains.

"that's what they all say," oikawa says, "maybe yall were fu-"

shirabu left the call.

_call duration ; 01:51:42_

(they added shirabu five times because i said so)

6:08PM

**sensei :** semi watches movies in shirabu's dorm like his fucking boyfriend (please date, the slow burn is killing me), akaashi reads bokuaka fanfics on ao3, kenma obviously ADORES kuroo and is a tsundere, yahaba is fucking spying on me for someone but he wont tell me shit and he thinks kyoutani's eyeliner is hot, tobio-chan is a simp for chibi-chan, sawamura gives suga FLOWERS and theyre DATING and kogane thinks semi's baby kouhai is cool in the most purest way which might not be pure anymore when they go to the training camp.

 **sensei :** needed to note that down so i wont forget ;))

 **shirabu :** you fucking-

 **shirabu :** you forgot something

 **shirabu** changed oikawa's name to **bara arms kink**.

 **bara arms kink :** BRAT

 **bara arms kink** changed shirabu's name to **bottom brat**.

 **bottom brat :** since when am i a bottom 🧍🏻‍♂️

 **fucking spy :** you're not a top for sure

 **fucking spy :** there's just no logic if youre a top

 **bottom brat :** is that supposed to be insulting ?

 **bottom brat :** try harder next time !!

 **fucking spy :** bitch-

 **kageyama :** what is a simp

 **kenma :** you

 **kageyama** sent a photo to the groupchat.

**kageyama :** i am not a simp

 **kageyama :** oikawa-san is the simp

 **bottom brat :** congratulations kageyama tobio that's the first smart thing you've ever said in the groupchat 🥳🎉

 **sugawara :** NO BULLYING KAGEYAMA

 **bara arms kink :** ugh suga your name is ugly

 **bara arms kink** changed sugawara's name to **second mommy**.

 **second mommy :** what did you mean by ugly 😊 ?

 **kageyama :** oikawa-san why would you throw away your life like that

 **kageyama :** bye im going to by meatbuns with hinata

 **kenma :** "i am not a simp"

 **fucking spy** changed kageyama's name to **hinata simp**.

 **koganegawa :** bye guys, futakuchi-senpai is yelling at someone for some reason!

 **bottom brat** changed koganegawa's name to **too pure**.

 **bara arms kink :** ugh facts

 **second mommy :** you all should go too !! bye !! for real !! im sick of you guys !! haha !!


	5. 005

7:47AM

**second mommy :** good morning !

 **too pure :** good morning everyone !!!

 **akaashi :** ah, he added another exclamation mark

 **kenma :** you all are INSUFFERABLE

 **kenma :** what's so good about mornings ? what's so good about knowing that you wake up to another day of this miserable life ? "good morning!" bitch no, we're just one day closer to death.

 **bara arms kink :** w h a t️

 **second mommy :**...kenma are you okay ?

 **akaashi :** he's okay, this is just his mood on a regular basis.

 **fucking spy :** how is that considered okay-

 **bottom brat :** lol same

 **bottom brat :** jfc ugh

 **bottom brat** cleared their name.

 **fucking spy** changed shirabu's name to **salty brat.**

 **fucking spy :** your welcome

 **salty brat :** you're*

 **fucking spy :** MMMM SALTY MMMM

 **akaashi :** are YOU okay ?

 **fucking spy :** oh im FINE im having a GREAT day

 **fucking spy :** just woke up to someone INSUFFERABLE 😋

 **salty brat :** oh my god who ????

 **bara arms kink :** BYE imagine waking up and seeing that directed to you 😭

 **salty brat :** bye !! 😁

 **bara arms kink :** MMMM SALTY MMMM

 **second mommy :** LMAO THIS IS SO FUNNY AND FOR WGAT

 **salty brat :** ikr, second mommy ?

 **salty brat :** how does it feel waking up knowing that you're second next to an idiot eventho you do everything to take care of your kouhais ?

 **second mommy :** i

 **akaashi :** this is... mortifying

 **salty brat :** right, mr. "i went to fukurodani because im gay for their ace oh and he's a star"

 **akaashi :** oh, oh wow,

 **akaashi :** how, did you know that,

 **salty brat :** read the manga !! 😩

(shirabu you literally studied your ass off and went to shiratorizawa because you saw ushiwaka annihilate a ball with his left hand 🧍🏻♀)

 **too pure :** shirabu-kun that's not very nice !!!

 **salty brat :** lol i know

 **bara arms kink :**...

 **bara arms kink :** HELLO?

 **bara arms kink :** WHAT

 **bara arms kink :** WHY DIDNT YOU ATTACK HIM

 **salty brat :** he didnt do anything wrong he barely even opens the groupchat

 **bara arms kink :** AND //I// DID SOEMTHING WRING ??

 **salty brat :** something wrong*

 **bara arms kink :** and yes, you breathed and annoyed me

 **akaashi :** what did i do to annoy you-

 **salty brat :** nothing i just wanted to use the remark lol sorry

 **akaashi :** ah... okay.

 **bara arms kink :** ALSO YOU ADMITTED THAT SEMI IS FIRST N BEST MOM

 **bara arms :** JZNCJBDNXJCJSJC

 **salty brat :** i didn't ?

 **bara arms kink :** OKAY BUT YOU IMPLIED IT

 **salty brat :** well okay maybe he is

 **salty brat :** i appreciate his efforts of taking care of his juniors i dont see why i shouldnt

 **salty brat** deleted a message.

 **salty brat** deleted a message.

 **salty brat :** on second thought, no, no hes not the best, not ever,

 **bara arms kink :** SHOULDVE SAID THAT BEFORE I SCREENSHOTTED IT

**oikawa → semi | private messages**

**oikawa :** SEMIBSEMISEMIEKZHXJAXC

 **oikawa :** I KNOW YOU CANT SEE THIS UNTIL ANOTHER WEEK BUT LIKE

 **oikawa** sent you a photo.

 **oikawa :** WOANAHSJSJSAAJ

 **oikawa :** WRGNVSXGJNRAHMHUCU

 **oikawa :** I AM SCRWAMINFNSNSJZHZAJ

 **oikawa :** BITCH YOU BETTER REPLY TO ME FIRST THINGS AFTER YOU GET YOUR PHKNE BACK

 **oikawa :** SHIRABU ADMITS YOURE A GRWAT SENPAI SEMI DO YOU UNDRRSTAND THSI VERY IMPRODNAFT MOMENT

 **oikawa :** DONT BREAK HIS HEART OKAY

 **oikawa :** oh wait fuck but hes a brat

 **oikawa :** on second thought, maybe you can,

(BYE i can imagine semi's phone buzzing like fucking barry bee for the whole ass week and the person near it just going like "oh my god, shut the fuck up,")

**setters | groupchat**

**fucking spy :** SHIRABU,,, ADMITTING,, THAT SEMI IS A GOOD SENPAI,,,

 **salty brat :** i didnt

 **second mommy** changed shirabu's name to **tsundere brat**.

 **second mommy :** it just felt right

 **tsundere brat :** and you all question why i think youre all annoying asf

 **hinata simp :** hi

 **bara arms kink :** TOBIO CHAN GO AWAY

 **bara arms kink :** NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE

 **second mommy :** AYO NO BULLYING MY JUNIOR

 **too pure :** hi kageyama-kun !!!

 **hinata simp :** hi, uh

 **hinata simp :** kanekogawa-san

 **too pure :** it's koganegawa !!!

 **fucking spy :** KANEKOGAWA

 **bara arms kink :** LMAO

 **bara arms kink** changed koganegawa's name to **kanekogawa**.

 **tsundere brat :** "it's koganegawa !!!"

 **hinata simp :** i fotgot, sorry

 **kenma :** fotgot

 **akaashi :** fotgot

 **tsundere brat :** fotgot

 **fucking spy :** fotgot

 **bara arms kink :** fotgot

 **second mommy :** WHY ARE YOU GUYS SUDDENLY TEAMING UP ON HIM

 **bara arms kink :** it's called influence, suga ;)

 **kenma :** lol no i saw an opportunity so i took it moron

 **bara arms kink :** meanie >:(

 **hinata simp :** im so excited !!!!!!!

 **tsundere brat :** lol k noted

 **second mommy :** SHUT

 **second mommy :** anyways,

 **second mommy :** for what ?

 **hinata :** all-japan training camp

 **hinata simp :** theres the top three ace

 **hinata simp :** and the best highschool setter

 **hinata simp :** and some other guys people say are cool

 **fucking spy :** i feel bad for those who fell in the 'some other guys' category

 **kenma :** when is it tho

 **hinata simp :** next week

 **hinata simp :** they say the floor isnt wood

 **akaashi :** ah... okay,

 **akaashi :** is there a particular reason of why you find that interesting ?

 **hinata simp :** yes

 **hinata simp :** because the floor is always wood

 **bara arms kink :** cAN HE BE ANY DRIER

 **fucking spy :** PLS WHY IS HE LIKE THIS

 **second mommy :** THIS ISNT INFLUENCE ANYMORE YOU ALL ARE JUST BULLYING HIM FOR FUN

 **second mommy :** PLEASE STOP

 **bara arms kink :** omg wait

 **bara arms kink :** kogane kogane

 **kanekogawa :** yes ????

 **bara arms kink :** can you say fuck

 **second mommy :** wh A T

 **second mommy :** YOURE JUST OUT HERE CORRUPTING EVERYONE WHAt THE FUXK

 **kanekogawa :** well, i can,

 **kanekogawa :** aaa but moniwa-san says that this word is vulgar !!!

 **fucking simp :** wait WHAT

 **salty brat :** he's-

 **salty brat :** he's purer than hinata-

 **bara arms kink :** WHO IS THIS MONIWA-SAN AND WHY IS HE BETTER AT RAISING CHILDREN THAN SUGA

 **second mommy :** iM HURT

 **kanekogawa :** he's my senpai and he's a great setter !!!

 **kanekogawa :** he already retired from the club but he's super nice and still teaches me how to do cool dump shots !!!

 **second mommy :** i respect him.

 **bara arms kink :** can you add him here ?

 **kanekogawa :** sure !!!

 **salty brat :** what the fuck hes so pure its blinding my eyes

 **fucking spy :** no one involved with oikawa is pure tho

 **fucking spy** **:** im sure he'll have his phase

 **bara arms kink :** stop the oikawa slander please youre all breaking my heart 💔

 **kanekogawa** added **moniwa**.

 **kanekogawa :** MONIWA-SAN !!!

 **moniwa :** hi, are you kogane ?

 **kanekogawa :** yepp !!!!

 **akaashi :** fuck he added another exclamation mark

 **moniwa :** NO

 **moniwa :** no fricking vulgar words around kogane please ! <3

 **bara arms kink :** oh my god

 **bara arms kink :** HE IS THE REAL DEAL

 **bara arms kink** changed moniwa's name to **best mommy award**.

 **best mommy award :** wow, im honoured, uh... bara arms kink ?

 **bara arms kink :** im oikawa tooru from aoba johsai !!

 **best mommy award :** oh, hi oikawa-kun, and uh, who are the others ?

 **fucking spy :** im yahaba, unfortunafely the idiot's subordinate, amd the salty brat right there is shiratorizawa's gay setter

 **salty brat :** fuck off

 **best mommy award :** no vulgar words ! <3

 **bara arms kink :** PLEASE HE EVEN PUTS A HEART AT THE END THE PURENEST IS BLINDING

 **second mommy :** hi, im sugawara koushi from karasuno, and i envy you.

 **hinata simp :** dont worry suga-san you're always number one mom to me


	6. 006

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the | symbol means that the message was never sent

8:29AM

**mommy :** hi dumbsies im back

 **second mommy :** dumbsies?

 **bara arms kink :** HI SEMI I MISSED YOUR SHIT

 **bara arms kink :** HOWS TOTA DOING

 **mommy :** oh... tota...

 **mommy :** they... they stepped on him... and he exploded...

 **bara arms kink :** oh

 **akaashi :** rip tota

 **kenma :** he was creepy while he was still alive

 **hinata simp :** and crawly

 **second mommy :** hope he does well in the afterlife

 **mommy :** second mommy ? is this sugawara ?

 **second mommy :** i- well yes,

 **best mommy award :** who's this ?

 **mommy :** wait what

 **mommy :** hold tf up

 **mommy :** and you are ???

 **best mommy award :** moniwa from date tech !

 **mommy :** oH

 **mommy :** im semi from shiratorizawa, uh,

 **mommy :** best mommy :)

 **mommy** sent a photo.

**tsundere brat :** lol youre no longer best senpai

 **mommy :** you considered me as best senpai ?

 **tsundere brat :** wait what

 **mommy :** :) !!!??

 **tsundere brat :** no

 **tsundere brat :** dont flatter yourself dumbass

 **mommy :** :( !!!

 **fucking spy** sent a photo.

**tsundere brat :** reused reaction memes dont work on me

 **akaashi :** "well maybe he is"

 **kenma :** "i appreciate his efforts of taking care of his juniors i dont see why i shouldnt"

 **mommy :** :)) !!?!?!!!??!!

 **bara arms kink :** THE QUIET ONES HAS SPOKEN

 **second mommy :** why is he typing like that it doesnt look like him

 **tsundere brat :** its adorable |

 **mommy :** oh im not semi lol

 **tsundere brat :** nvm |

 **bara arms kink :** EW USHIWAKA EW PROPER PUNCTUATIONS EW GRAMMAR

 **bara arms kink :** oh this isnt ushiwaka lol

 **second mommy :** do you have to say that EVERY FUCKING TIME

 **best mommy award :** language !

 **second mommy :** ah, oh, okay, 😃

 **fucking spy :** OOF

 **mommy :** lol yall are funny

 **mommy :** hi im reon :)

 **mommy :** semi is watching from my shoulder and he gave me my phone because he was very happy but he didnt know how to respxhxikamfnnz

 **mommy** deleted a message.

 **mommy :** hi whats popping

 **fucking spy :** GOODBYE

 **fucking spy :** SOMEONE END THIS MUTUAL PINING

 **kenma :** akaashi holding himself back from writing a whole ass fanfic of them rn

 **akaashi :** oi

 **kenma :** lol

 **fucking spy :** hmm too many mommys

 **fucking spy** changed semi's name to **daddæ**.

 **daddæ :** YEAY THANKS YAHABA

 **bara arms kink :** TF HAPPENED TO MAD DOG ???

 **bara arms kink :** YOUBCANT FIGHT OVER SRMI WITH SHIRABU NOW TJEYRE MEANT FOR EACVBLOTJER

 **akaashi :** so meant for eacvblotjer you became illiterate

 **tsundere brat :** fight over who now

 **fucking simp :** THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU FUCKING IDIOT

 **fucking simp :** REMEMBER THAT ONE FUCKING TIME WHEN HE WANTED TO BE DADDY SO FUCKING MUCH SO I FUCKING GAVE IT TO HIM WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID

 **second mommy :** w h y 🙂

 **second mommy :** this conversation again 🙂

 **hinata simp :** fucking count : six

 **best mommy award :** oh my god

 **best mommy award :** kogane pls close your eyes

 **fucking spy :** SHUT THE FUCK UP tObiO chAn AND bEst mOmMy

 **fucking spy :** AND KYOUTANI ?? I LITERALLY HATE HIM SO MUCH CANT YOU TAKE THE FUCKING HINT

 **bara arms kink :** but he looked very amused when you pinned him to the wall after that one match ;))

 **kenma :** "SOMEONE END THIS MUTUAL PINING"

 **daddæ :** why does calling me daddy cause so much trouble :(

 **daddæ :** ah yea kageyama i heard your training camp starts tomorrowjdjabxhhAJSJDN HI EVERYBODY ITS ME

 **hinata simp :** yes it does

 **hinata simp :** im very excited

 **hinata simp :** !!!!!

 **kenma :** the way he just ignored the second half

 **tsundere brat :** are you one of the third years again

 **tsundere brat :** tendou-san? oohira-san? yamagata-san?

 **daddæ :** WHO ??

 **daddæ :** IM GOSHIKI !!!!! SHIRATORIZAWA'S FUTURE ACE !!!!!! I WILL SKYROCKET TO THE TOP AND LEAD THE FUTURE SHIRATORIZAWA TO VICTORY !!!!!!

 **tsundere brat :** ew

 **tsundere brat :** the only thing skyrocketing is your ego everytime semi-san talks to you lol

 **second mommy :** is he-

 **fucking spy :** oh wow

 **bara arms kink :** jealous much ?

 **tsundere brat :** goodbye !!!!! 😁

 **bara arms kink :** NO WAIT SHIRABU DONT GO SKJXJCKSJDJSS

 **second mommy :** how does everyone keep getting semi's phone ?

 **daddæ :** oh that !!!

 **daddæ :** so semi-senpaijshxhdjsnx hi im kawanishi and semi-san's taking a piss

 **akaashi :** wow what useful information

 **daddæ :** so basically he lets his the team in his dorm if they need help because his dormmate transferred schools and he has the dorm to himself

 **daddæ :** oh aND JI NEVER COMES TO HIS ROOM FOR ANYTHING SO HE DOESNT KNOW THE TEA WE SHARE HERE SO IM JUST SAYING, YOU CAN COME AND TAKE A HORNY GLANCE AT SEMI-SAN SOMETIMES LOL

 **tsundere brat :** GO TO HELL TAICHI

 **tsundere brat :** lol suddenly im locking my dormmate out

 **fucking spy :** TEA

 **fucking spy :** FUCKING TEA

 **fucking spy :** THANK YOU KAWANISHI TAICHI OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME MIGHT BE

 **daddæ :** omg you seem like a fun person your hand in marriage please

 **best mommy award :** oh- oh wow-

 **tsundere brat :** please no the last thing i want is for you two to be friends

 **tsundere brat :** and dont you like yamaga-

 **daddæ :** THATS ENOUGH OF THE INTERNET FOR YOU TODAY GO TO SLEEP

 **tsundere brat :** it's like 9 am but ok

 **bara arms kink :** i will literally have a notebook dedicated to shiratorizawa tea

 **daddæ :** hi i took a piss whats up

 **kenma :** shirabu ignoring his chances to take horny glances

 **daddæ :** wh a t

 **tsundere brat :** backread and P E R I SH

 **daddæ :** again, w h a t

 **daddæ :** ah anyways kageyama is there anyone specific you want to meet at the training camp ?

 **bara arms kink :** WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED

 **bara arms kink :** I THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES PUT YOUR ATTENTION TO ME

 **akaashi :** you really said "so pick me, choose me, love me,"

 **daddæ :** maybe because he actually made it to nationals and got invited to a national training camp, take a fucking guess ?

 **fucking spy :** OOF

 **second mommy :** you're- you're in the same team as him-

 **hinata simp :** hmmmmmmmm

 **hinata simp :** miya-san and sakusa-san maybe

 **hinata simp :** sakusa-san is very good at racking points and i want to learn from miya-san as a setter

 **tsundere brat :** i remember them staring at each other the whole time while the opening ceremony last year

 **tsundere brat :** like give up youre in love with each other

 **kenma :** you're one to talk

 **daddæ :** okay but like i couldnt tell with their glaring like do you want to kill each other or punch each other with your lips ??

 **akaashi :** again, you're one to talk

 **fucking spy :** who's gonna tell them 💀

 **hinata simp :** that is so gay

 **kenma :** you're gay

 **second mommy :** good luck on your training camp kageyama !

 **hinata simp :** thank you suga-san

 **hinata simp :** oh and semi-san

 **daddæ :** yes ?

 **hinata simp :** do you want to kill shirabu-san or punch him with your lips ?????

 **daddæ :** i-


	7. 007

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE SAKUATSU

kageyama's sparkling ethereal blue eyes (cue sparkly aura, close-up shot of kageyama's eyes) scanned around the gym, mainly at the floor because it wasn't wood.

there were some people he recognised from monthly volleyball magazines and a short guy that looked like a seagull, but he didn't mind him. instead, he searches for the two people that he wanted to see, sakusa kiyoomi from itachiyama and miya atsumu from inarizaki.

suddenly, he felt a hand grip his shoulders, and turned around to see a blond setter with a polite smile on his face. "hey, tobio-kun!" atsumu greeted.

"ah... miya-san. hello." kageyama said flatly, not sounding as excited as he was internally. atsumu chuckled at his response.

"how about we team up on the first day for the three-on-three? i want to see how you do as a spiker." he suggested. "sure, miya-san." kageyama said bluntly while nodding repeatively.

atsumu was still smiling at him politely, and the first year thought it was pissing him off a bit for some reason.

to his luck, a nearby germaphobe spoke up.

"already pestering the poor first year, miya?" a low voice spoke, who they identified as sakusa's when they turned to it.

atsumu's polite smile turned wider into a shit-eating one, the grip he had on kageyama's shoulder tightening. "omi-kun, fancy seeing you here!"

sakusa narrowed his eyes at the nickname. "i told you not to call me that."

"and i didn't listen, right, omi-kun?" atsumu said with his shit-eating smile.

kageyama blinked.

they could hear sakusa grumble under his mask. "you're annoying."

"im doing it on purpose!"

sakusa narrowed his eyes.

kageyama blinked again.

"how about we make a bet then? if you win the first three-on-three today, you'll need to call me by a nickname too!" atsumu offers.

"to what?"

" _baby._ "

the poor first year heard sakusa make a foreign sound (at least to him,) before saying, "is that a bribe so i lose on purpose? i don't like playing your dirty games."

kageyama blinked again. _is this what tanaka-san and nishinoya-san call 'sexual tension'?_

atsumu faked a laugh, "no way, omi-kun! _i actually want you t_ -"

"okay stopp!!" a brown-haired boy with thick eyebrows interrupted from behind sakusa. "sorry, atsumu, is kiyo bothering you?"

sakusa looked _very_ annoyed at his prescence. "it's actually the other way around, motoya."

another shit-eating smile. "don't listen to him, motoya-kun! we were just saying friendly hellos, right, tobio-kun?" atsumu practically _squeezed_ kageyama's shoulder, forcing a nod from him. that wasn't a good idea- sakusa deepened the death glare he had on kageyama, sending shivers down his spine.

"come on you guys, let's all get along in this training camp, shall we?" the brown-haired boy, now known as motoya, brightened up the atmosphere and pushed sakusa away from them. "we'll be going then, kageyama, atsumu!"

atsumu smiled and waved to them, and kageyama tapped his shoulder. "yeah, tobio-kun?" the second year raised his eyebrows.

"the sexual tension is unsettling."

7:26PM

**hinata simp :** hi im back

 **second mommy :** hi kageyama !

 **best mommy award :** have you met miya and sakusa ?

 **hinata simp :** yes

 **hinata simp :** i was disappointed when i met atsumu-san though

 **daddæ :** why ?

 **hinata simp :** he had a similar personality to oikawa-san

 **bara arms kink :** WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **tsundere brat :** it means he doesnt like you lol

 **hinata simp :** he called me a goody two shoes >:(

 **akaashi :** so are you not going to add him ?

 **hinata simp :** uhh yes i am

 **hinata simp** added **miya** to the chat.

 **miya :** ARE YOU TOBIO-KUN?

 **miya :** DID YOU TAKE MY FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH

 **kenma :** omg he IS like oikawa

 **bara arms kink :** AGAIN, WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **hinata simp :** i didnt >:(

 **hinata simp :** you know what i regretted adding you

 **miya :** NO NO NO OKAY JFC

 **miya :** hi im miya atsumu from inarizaki, tobio-kun has been talking about you all :)

 **kenma :** oh my god, he's so much like oikawa, the sudden switch in intonation is there too

 **bara arms kink :** kenma w h y

 **hinata simp :** i still dont like you

 **miya :** all i did was accuse you of taking my toothbrush 😔

 **hinata simp :** you called me a goody two shoes >:(

 **miya :** yOU LITERALLY SAID "the sexual tension is unsettling" WITH A STRAIGHT FACE TO ME

 **daddæ :** wait WHAT

 **fucking spy :** LMAO

 **second mommy :** KAGEYAMA YOU SAID THAT?

 **hinata simp :** atsumu-san was gripping my shoulder VERY tightly while he held a conversation with sakusa-san

 **hinata simp :** i thought tanaka-san would call that sexual tension

 **bara arms kink :** omg i love baldie-chan now

 **fucking spy :** SERIOUSLY?

 **bara arms kink :** GO AWAY YAHABA NO ONE LIKES YOU

 **miya :** hOW IS THAT EVEN-

 **miya :** OH MY FUCKING GOD OMI-KUN FLUSHED MY TOOTHBRUSH DOWN THE TOILET

 **tsundere brat :** ...omi-kun ?

 **daddæ :** they have nicknames, so sweet ;)

 **miya :** why are you all bullying me 💔

 **kenma :** he is literally oikawa.

 **bara arms kink :** THE SLANDER

 **hinata simp :** look

 **hinata simp** sent a video to the groupchat.

[ a video of atsumu tossing his phone on the futon, smirking at sakusa while trying to approach him.

sakusa just made a disgusted look, backing off and tries to spray salonpas at atsumu's face but missed, and atsumu stuck his tongue out. ]

 **hinata simp :** theyre in love

 **second mommy :** just- wow.

 **bara arms kink :** TOBIO-CHAN RECORD THE WHOLE THING

 **hinata simp :** ok

 **daddæ :** good gracious this is amazing

 **hinata simp** sent a video to the groupchat.

[ _"miya, don't fucking touch me,"_

atsumu quirked the shit-eating smile on his lips when he finally got a grip on sakusa's wrist,

 _"too late, omi-kun!"_ he said while tackling him to the ground, his other hand tickling his sides.

 _"atsumu-"_ sakusa _laughed._

atsumu looked at him and froze, cheeks burning up while locking his gaze at sakusa, who blushed just as much.

they deadass stared at each other for a whole ass minute- ]

  
 **bara arm kink :** AAAAHHHHH ????

 **second mommy :** theyre in love ???

 **daddæ :** jshdjshxjabdjzkakkdk <3 ???

 **best mommy award :** okAY that was cute ???

 **kenma :** why are the third years like this

 **akaashi :** i dont know.

 **bara arms kink :** TOBIO-CHAN TOBIO-CHAN WHAT HAPPENNED NEXT

 **hinata simp :** atsumu-san started saying sorry a lot

 **hinata simp :** and then he realised he was on top of sakusa-san

 **hinata simp :** and then his face turned very red and got off of sakusa-san

 **hinata simp :** sakusa-san picked up his salonpas and ran out of the room

 **hinata simp :** atsumu-san is picking up his phone now

 **hinata simp :** hes watching the videos

 **hinata simp :** oops his face is red again

 **hinata simp :** and im locking myself in the bathroom

 **fucking spy :** HAHSHAJAJSA

 **miya :** tOBIO-KUN OPEN UP

 **miya :** WHY, JUST W H Y

 **hinata simp :** atsumu-san your toothbrush is still in the toilet bowl

 **miya :** NOT MY POINT

 **tsundere brat :** say, miya, did you blush because sakusa suddenly called you by your first name or because you heard him laugh ?

 **miya :** i DIDNT BLUSH

 **akaashi :** i thought you watched the video ?

 **best mommy award :** i ship it-

 **second mommy :** YES MONIWA YES

 **hinata simp :** what is shipping ???

 **daddæ :** basically thinking that a pair looks good together

 **hinata simp :** oh

 **hinata simp :** i ship it too then

 **miya :** STOP THIS

 **bara arms kink :** TOBIO-CHAN IM PROUD

 **bara arms kink** changed kageyama's name to **sakuatsu wingman.**

 **miya :** yOU ALREADY THOUGHT OF A SHIP NAME ???

 **sakuatsu wingman :** ty oikawa-san

 **miya :** i regret being your roommate so much 😃

 **daddæ :** well you have to deal with this for a whole week, i hope you mentally prepare yourself

 **miya :** who tHE FUCK ARE YOU 😁


	8. 008

day two.

"tobio-kun, why are ya still alive?"

atsumu grumbled right after their alarm rang, the angry and embarrassed atsumu waking up to the cause of it all.

kageyama just stares at him bluntly from the other side of the room with sleepy eyes before smiling.

"im having very much fun."

atsumu scoffs.

"oh, it's on, just you wait tobio-kun, i'll mentally slit yer throat."

"i don't think you c—"

"shut up, tobio-kun, no one loves you."

"hinata says he—"

"SHUT— wait, what?"

"hinata says he's sure there are people who love m—"

"oh, thought it was something else. not interested."

"atsumu-san, the shower's empty."

"thanks, you little shit."

"what. what did i do."

atsumu doesn't answer, instead grabs his towel and toiletteries (did i spell that right? who knows) and sticks his tongue childishly at kageyama when he sees him on the way to the shower stalls.

"stupid tobio-kun and his stupid little setters cult and his disability to not say shit straight forwardly because he isn't straight in any fucking way for fucks sake." he mumbled while stepping in the shower, turning on the water and letting it hit his naked back.

a certain someone from the other stall overheard his childish mumbling.

"miya?"

atsumu pursed his lips. _ahaha, great._

"that you, omi-kun?"

sakusa hums. "i thought you were good friends with kageyama?"

atsumu deadpans. "yea, he's good in volleyball but he's also a little shit who breathes."

"...what exactly did he do?"

_yikes._ "oh, uh, that's a secret, omi-kun," he chuckles lightly.

sakusa hums again. "and, kageyama isn't straight?"

"oh," atsumu chuckles again, awkwardly, "are you interested in him, omi-kun?"

the latter snickered. "never, i already have someone i like."

"ooo, who is it omi-kun?"

the said boy's eyes widened. _shit, i said too much._ "none of your bussiness."

"you're so cold, omi-kun! who is it?"

_you._

"im heading out."

atsumu heard sakusa walk out of the shower, rustling noises from digging his bag and a tongue click.

atsumu turned off the shower and changed into his clothes. "something wrong?" he asked while draping the towel around his neck and opening the door.

sakusa nodded, giving the insides of his bag one last look. "i didn't bring my cleanser."

the setter's eyes sparkled. "you do skincare too? wait, you can use mine!" he exclaimed, taking his bag of toiletteries. sakusa raised his eyebrows at the sudden burst of excitement, totally not blushing at how cute it was.

"hah, you probably use st. ives—"

atsumu pulls out cerave.

sakusa was speechless.

_can i kiss you?_

"you can ask me whenever you want to use it, omi..." atsumu's voice trailed off when he finally got a good look at sakusa's face, and he was wearing a _headband_. "—kun."

and that wasn't it. sakusa was _smiling_. a small, shy smile, but it was still there.

_omi, if you smiled because of my skincare, i will literally bathe in_ _foaming cleanser._

atsumu starts taking out every single one of his skincare products, and the smile on sakusa's face grow wider and wider.

_your hand in marriage?_

they did their skincare together while talking, laughing at times and smiling brightly at each other.

suddenly, a camera clicks.

"this. _this_ is gold." komori walks in, smiling at the photo he just took, kageyama following behind him.

"komori-san, can you send me that later?"

"sure, gimme your number!"

sakusa and atsumu were left speechless as they exchanged numbers.

"tobio-kun, can you come here for a moment? i just want to talk to you, i mean no harm."

"motoya, this is why your dad left."

8:17AM

**sakuatsu wingman :** hello

 **miya :** TOBIO-KUN DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

 **miya :** I WONT MENTALLY SLIT YOUR THROAT ANYMORE ILL DO IT PHYSICALLY

 **miya :** IF YOU SEND IT HERE IM GONNA-

 **sakuatsu wingman** sent a photo to the groupchat.

 **sakuatsu wingman :** woops

 **bara arms kink :** AAAAAHHHHH ???

 **daddæ :** BYE THATS JUST CUTE ?????

 **second mommy :** YOU GUYS ARENT MARRIED ???

 **best mommy award :** <3 <3 ?????

 **kenma :** and there goes the third years with their fangirling

 **fucking spy :** ooo you go all cutesy cutesy around him

 **miya :** tobio-kun open the door.

 **miya :** i just wanna take my volleyball shoes.

 **sakuatsu wingman :** you'll also kill me in the meantime

 **miya :** yeah lol 😂😂😂😂

 **miya :** NOW OPEN UP OR I'LL SEND THIS VIDEO OF YOU SLEEP TALKING ABOUT SHOUYOU-KUN TO HIM

 **sakuatsu wingman :** .... >:((

 **miya :** okay that was easy

 **miya :** btw that video doesnt exist lol

 **miya :** WHY ARE YOU THE ONE CHASING ME NOW

 **tsundere brat** : i pity those whose eyes have to see these volleyball prodigies playing tag

 **miya :** PRACTICE IS STARTING HAHA BYE SUCKERS

 **daddæ** : kageyama make sure you bring your phone everywhere

 **sakuatsu wingman :** ok

"tobio-kun, give me your phone."

"why?"

"im avoiding anymore embarrassment brought upon myself by the courtesy of you."

i do not want to do that, im having fun."

im slitting your throat."

"no. shoo."

_hoshiumi-kun, kageyama-kun and atsumu-kun will be in the same team for today_ , was what the coach said earlier this morning, which brings them here— hoshiumi seeking for kageyama's attention while atsumu watches them amusingly.

he then spots sakusa who just finished practicing his serves with motoya, and he smiles upon the sight of him covered in sweat and panting.

"omi-kun, you tired already?" he yelled at the germaphobe, who scrunched his nose at the remark.

"no, miya, im not as weak as you, who is now taking a break and messing around." he retorted, and atsumu gave him his signature shit-eating smile.

"athletes can't work themselves out, omi-kun! i'd get very hurt!"

"so get hurt, i don't care."

"mean, omi-kun!"

beside sakusa, komori was smiling at their childish bickering.

they both pick up their jackets and went outside the gym, heading towards the cafe for lunch.

"you guys are up at each others' neck again, how cute." he says, and sakusa turns to him in confusion.

"how is _t_ _hat_ cute? motoya, what drugs are you on?"

"well, you guys are always bickering when everyone can see you guys but get all soft with each other when you're alone, just like this morning, i heard your little talk im the shower room too~" he teased, making sakusa blush under his mask. "i don't even like him."

"and you're blushing."

"am not, and even if i am, you can't see it."

"it's called blood-relation instincts, _omi-kun_ , i can read your mind because im your cousin." komori spits out nonsense, while sakusa only grumbled at the nickname.

"don't call me that."

"you don't care when atsumu called you that this morning though?"

"thats because i can't control him. other than you, motoya, i can report to aneki (other word for big sis in japanese lol)."

"you can control atsumu in be—"

"motoya, may i reveal that time when you said you wanted your cock to be longer to everyone in the cafeteria?"

1:47PM

**daddæ :** when i was

 **tsundere brat :** oh no

 **bara arms kink :** a yOUNG BOY

 **akaashi :** my father

 **kenma :** was

 **bara arms kink :** A YOUNG BOY

 **akaashi :** ...what ?

 **kanekogawa :** to see a mARCHING BAND !!!!

 **best mommy award :** :))

 **best mommy award :** he said,

 **second mommy :** son when you grow up

 **fucking spy :** WOULD YOU BE

 **bara arms kink :** MY FATHER

 **daddæ** **:** GOOD JOB KEEP IT GOING

 **tsundere brat** **:** w h y

 **kenma :** damn

 **daddæ** **:** HE SAID

 **akaashi :** ...will you

 **fucking** **spy** **:** jOIN THEM

 **bara** **arms** **kink :** YOUR DEMONS

 **second** **mommy :** AND ALL THE NON-BELIEVERS

 **daddæ** **:** SUGA U KINK

 **daddæ :** KING*

 **kenma** **:** a sane mind has fallen.

 **kanekogawa** **:** the-

 **bara arms kink :** JOIN

 **fucking spy :** THE

 **daddæ :** BLACK

 **second mommy :** PARADE

 **akaashi** **:** IM LOSING IT

 **tsundere brat :** hE SNAPPED

 **kenma :** i stopped watching wilbur's stream for this you drunkyards

 **kanekogawa :** ...b-because-

 **bara arms kink :** WHEN I WAS

 **daddæ :** MY FATHER

 **kanekogawa :** HOW *$&"&,,,'&#??????

 **best mommy award :** oh no

 **fucking spy :** A YOUNG BOY

 **second mommy :** TOOK ME INTO

 **bara arms kink :** THE CITY

 **kenma :** *sigh*

 **kenma :** to see

 **daddæ :** A CITY

 **tsundere brat :** DRUNK. YOU GUYS ARE DRUNK.

 **bara arms kink :** WE BROKE THEM LMAO

 **daddæ :** no more sane minds here 😍

 **kanekogawa :** HOW AM I MY FATHER

 **best mommy award :** KOGANE NO

 **best mommy award :** ITS A

 **best mommy award :** UH

 **best mommy award :** A MEME ??

 **kanekogawa :** WHATS AN MEME.

 **fucking spy :** LMAOO 💀

 **miya :** hello-

 **miya :** you guys partied without me 😔

 **sakuatsu wingman :** you guys partied without me too

 **miya :** shut up tobio-kun 😐

 **sakuatsu wingman :** why are you suddenly like this you were gripping my shoulder just a day ago

 **miya :** iM NOT SAFE ANHWHERE AROUND YOU ??

 **tsundere brat :** kageyama keep making him feel that way he'll go to omi-kun's arms

 **miya :** HEY

 **sakuatsu wingman :** haha

 **sakuatsu wingman :** anyways look at this

 **sakuatsu wingman** sent a photo.

[ sakusa, sitting at a nearby table with motoya while staring at atsumu frown at his phone :0 ]

 **miya :** THIS IS WHAT I MEANT

 **bara arms kink :** ok but hes deadass staring at you cant you guys just kiss and call it a day

 **fucking spy :** can you look at me in the eyes and say "no, no yahaba did not catch iwa-chan staring at me at the ramen place yesterday."

 **daddæ :** just confess or something its not like he'd reject you ???

 **akaashi :** manifesting my sanity.

 **miya :** how #,*'&$*#*&",@&$"

 **miya :** imagine the disgusted look om his face when i confess :(

 **best mommy award :** OH MY GOD

 **best mommy award :** HE WONT TURN YOU DOWN YOU GUYS LITERALLY DID SKINCARE TOGETHER WHILE LAUGHING AND TICKLED EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT ,, WHY WAS SAKUSA IN YOUR ROOM IN THE FIRST PLACE ??? BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SEE KAGEYAMA ???? ARE YOU DUMB OR OBLIVIOUS OR JUST DEADASS BRAINLESS ??

 **kenma :** uh oh

 **second mommy :** moniwa snapped 😭

 **best mommy award :** WHY ISNT ATSUMU READING MY RANT DID I REALLY TYPE ALL THAT FOR NOTHING

 **daddæ :** MONIWA CALM DOWN


	9. 009

7:38PM

  
**daddæ :** any1 sing the black parade w me

 **tsundere brat :** stop ?? blasting ?? my chemical romance ?? songs ?? in your ?? dorm ??

 **daddæ :** NO

 **bara arms kink :** you guys are literally married what the fuck

 **daddæ :** i do not see

 **tsundere brat :** i do not see

 **tsundere brat :** STOP

 **daddæ :** NO U

 **kenma :** m a r r i e d

 **sakuatsu wingman :** suga-san what does 69 mean

 **fucking spy :** stop acting like hinata in haikyuu text videos 😐

 **second mommy :** uM

 **second mommy :** where did you get thAT ?

 **miya :** STOP TELLING EVERYTHING I SAY TO THE GROUPCHAT YA SNOTTY GOODY TWO SHOES

 **bara arms kink :** OMG MIYA YOU TOLD HIM ??

 **bara arms kink :** GOODJOB YOU WONDERFUL BEING

 **miya :** THANK YOU TOORU-KUN

 **kenma :** oh no

 **akaashi :** double trouble.

 **miya :** wdym? samu isnt here :((

 **fucking spy :** sawho?

 **miya :** my twin !!

 **miya :** i hate him tho hes a mistake

 **best mommy awards :** you guys share the same womb?

 **miya :** yer point?

 **akaashi :** oh my god theres two of them

 **daddæ :** nah the other one is chill but sometimes share the same braincell as the blond twat we know

 **miya :** OI >:(

 **second mommy :** NO STOP ATSUMU WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF TELLING KAGEYAMA THAT

 **miya :** fun? the chaos?

 **bara arms kink :** yOU UNDERSTAND ME SO MUCH

 **sakuatsu wingman :** what does 69 mean??? ???????

 **sakuatsu wingman :** does it have something to do with sex ???

 **fucking spy :** W HAT

 **tsundere brat :** okay WOA

 **second mommy :** WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT WORD SO NONCHALANTLY

 **sakuatsu wingman :** oh i cant

 **sakuatsu wingman :** atsumu-san said "oh tobio-kun, you're the youngest first year? that means if you know more than shouyou-kun now it means that you know more earlier than him and you win!" so i asked him to teach me

 **miya :** oh wow ya got every word that comes out of my mouth

 **sakuatsu wingman :** i listen to my senpais

 **sakuatsu wingman :** 😩 !!

 **second mommy :** STOP

 **kenma :** all this but you didnt know what a simp meant until a couple days ago

 **second mommy :** i ,,, need a breather

 **bara arms kink :** OK SUGA STAY SAFE

 **bara arms kink :** NOW WHERES SEMI?? ???

 **tsundere brat :** idk

 **tsundere brat :** music stopped playing from his dorm

 **fucking spy :** omg shirabu are you worried ?????

 **tsundere brat :** i was literally just answering oikawa

 **miya :** tobio-kun where are you ??

 **sakuatsu wingman :** with komori-san for a

 **sakuatsu wingman :** um

 **sakuatsu wingman :** meeting

 **miya :** hHMMMMM SUS

 **miya :** neways did you take my toothpaste

 **sakuatsu wingman :** no

 **akaashi :** i thought your omi-kun flushed your toothbrush down the toilet?

 **miya :** i use my finger???

 **bara arms kink :** omg same

 **kenma :** why are you only accepting the fact that you guys are similar now

 **bara arms kink :** bECAUSE I LOVE HIM

 **miya :** I LOVE YOU TOO TOORU-KUN

 **fucking spy :** WHAT

 **bara arms kink :** SHUT UP YAHABA THERES A PLATONIC KIND OF LOVE TOO YOU STUPID ASS SHITHEAD

 **bara arms kink :** i can never look at miya romantically because i cant be in love with myself HAH

 **miya :** ^^

 **daddæ :** BRRRR

 **second mommy :** GRRR

 **kenma :** there they are

 **akaashi :** are they possessed ?

 **daddæ :** so i was jogging and listening to my chemical romance because ✨ multitask ✨

 **daddæ :** and then i saw someone and was like "tf is that my clone"

 **daddæ :** AND NO ITS SUGA

 **second mommy :** AND WE TALKED AND IVE DECIDED THTA I AM NO LONGER YOUR MOTHER KAGEYAMA

 **sakuatsu wingman :** what

 **daddæ** changed **sugawara's** name to **drunk aunt.**

 **drunk aunt :** I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

 **bara arms kink :** GO BESTIE

 **best mommy award :** wow idk about drunk but go sugawara !!

 **daddæ :** GO SUGA

 **kenma :** why are the third years like this

 **akaashi :** second time you asked that and i still dont have the answer

 **tsundere brat :** so basically semi-san became bad influence ?

 **drunk aunt :** IT IDNT BAD YOUR SENPAI IS REALLY NICE AND A COOL PERSON

 **salty brat :** yea no

 **daddæ :** OI >:(

 **miya :** copykat

 **kenma :** oikawa oikawa

 **bara arms kink :** yES KITTY CAT

 **kenma :** call me that again and im feeding you to pigs

 **bara arms kink** changed **kenma's** name to **kitty cat.**

 **kitty cat :** sigh

 **kitty cat :** im adding someone and youre not gonna stop me

 **bara arms kink :** wAIT WHO

 **kitty cat** added **sakishima** to the chat.

 **kitty cat :** welcome you little shit

 **sakishima :** lmao your name is kitty cat 😹

 **drunk aunt :** who is this ?

 **sakishima :** isumi sakishima from nohebi, old lady

 **drunk aunt :** iM NOT AN OLD LADY IM A THIRD YEAR SETTER FROM KARASUNO NAMED SUGAWARA

 **sakishima :** the one that got replaced by his junior?

 **drunk aunt :** i-

 **bara arms kink :** kENMA WHO IS THIS

 **sakishima :** judging by the name i suppose you're oikawa, the one who got beaten by the same junior?

 **bara arms kink :** i-

 **fucking spy :** oh no

 **fucking spy :** shirabu's salt is enough

 **tsundere brat :** come on roast semi-san next

 **dadd** **æ :** OI

 **sakishima :** semi eita is here?

 **sakishima :** no lmao i looked up to him in middle school when he was a big name

 **daddæ :** HAH

 **daddæ :** tHANKS MAN

 **tsundere brat :** 😐

 **sakuatsu wingman :** dont you dislike nohebi kozume-senpai ?????

 **sakuatsu wingman :** hinata told me you do

 **kenma :** i mean yea but not really

 **kenma :** sakishima roasted lev first and i love lev slander <3

 **akaashi :** thats so kenma

 **bara arms kink :** bUT HE WAS MEAN TO ME

 **daddæ :** he looked up to me so i dont care lmao

 **bara arms kink :** THE BETRAYAL

 **miya :** LMAO

 **sakishima :** well then

 **kanekogawa :** hi !!!!!!

 **best mommy award :** dONT TOUCH HIM


	10. 010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tHIS WAS RUSHED AND MESSY AND VV CHAOTIC IM SORRY

**miya :** LMAO MONIWA PROTECT THE CHILD

 **kanekogawa :** gUYS !!!!! i told goshiki he's really cool and he was blushing so cutely !!!!!

 **kanekogawa :** !!!!! <33

 **akaashi :** he added another exclamation mark lol

 **best mommy award :** aww

 **daddæ :** tsutomu is growing up so fast

 **tsundere brat :** 'im not a mommy'

 **daddæ :** iM WATCHING JIM GROW IN SILENCE SHUT UP

 **kitty cat :** haha jim

 **daddæ :** hOI

 **sakishima :** is this what your every day conversations look like

 **akaashi :** unfortunately, yes

 **bara arms kink :** hmmmmmm akaashi you havent changed your name yet

 **akaashi :** please dont

 **bara arms kink** changed akaashi's name to **ushiwaka 2.0.**

 **drunk aunt :** why tho

 **bara arms kink :** bECAUSE he SOMETIMES uses proper grammar but in lowercase and thw fucking hellhole captain with the fucking robot stoic face does the same

 **bara arms kink :** BUT DONT WORRY AKAASHI ILL NEVER HATE YOU YOURE TOO PRETTY FOR THAT

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** i'd like it the other way but ok

 **daddæ :** hey kogane

 **kanekogawa :** yes ?????

 **daddæ :** compliment tsutomu a lot and be there when he needs you

 **daddæ :** oh and dont hurt him

 **best mommy award :** HE CARES SO MUCH

 **bara arms kink :** i'd say cant talk rn im doing hot girl shit while crying over semi eita protecting his kouhai

 **kanekogawa** **:** okay !!!!!

 **kitty cat :** lets all cherish this one tiny wholesome moment in this groupchat with oikawa

 **miya :** AYO NO BULLYIN

 **bara arms kink :** YES MIYA PREECH

 **kitty cat :** it ended

 **sakishima :** it was kinda your fault too lmao

 **bara arms kink :** omg youre such a snek

 **fucking spy :** what-

 **fucking spy :** snek as in snake or snack-

 **bara arms kink :** AS A SNAKE DUH

 **bara arms kink** changed sakishima's name to **snek go hiss.**

 **bara arms kink :** see i even changed his name so you wont get confused

 **bara arms kink :** the only snack i know is ME

 **bara arms kink :** oh and iwachan <3

 **snek go hiss :** fuck another simp

 **bara arms kink :** WELL. WELCOME TO THE SETTERS GROUPCHAT BITCH

 **bara arms kink :** iN HERE WE SIMP WITH NO HESITATION

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** no one said that

 **bara arms kink :** I DID

 **miya :** just realised the group name is just 'setters' who tf made this group lmao

 **miya :** wAIT LET ME GUESS

 **miya :** tobio-kun isn't it?

 **bara arms kink :** wonderful miya that is correct !!

 **miya :** i know im so smart 😩

 **bara arms kink :** yOU CAN DO THE HONOURS MY BRO

 **miya :** thANKS TOORU-KUN

 **miya** changed the group name to **where we resolve unresolved sexual tension.**

 **kitty cat :** oh no

 **kitty cat :** he got oikawa'd

 **daddæ :** dont worry kenma i got this

 **daddæ :** miya watch this

 **miya :** watch what-

 **daddae** added **miya** to the chat.

 **fucking spy :** well well well everybody here comes another miya! is he as crazy as atsumu, the blond twat right here? lets see to find out!

 **miya :** fU C K

 **miya :** um what

 **miya :** SAMU GO AWAY

 **miya :** LEAVE THE GROUPCJAT YOURE NOT WANTED HERE ITS CALLED A S E T T ER S GROUPCHAT

 **miya :** is this tsumu?

 **miya :** oh my god you little shit yA DIDNT ANSWER MY TEXTS BECAUSE YOU'RE BUSY TEXTING THIS GROUPCHAT ARENT YA

 **miya :** WAIT WHAT

 **miya :** SAMU IM SORRY

 **kanekogawa :** wait im confused !!!!!

 **miya :** OH LET ME HELP YOU YOU SWEET WONDERFUL CHILD WHO MADE THE DUMBASS SOOOO BUSY HE CANT EVEN ANSWER MY FUCKING TEXTS

 **miya** changed miya's name to **a mistake.**

 **best mommy award :** twin telepathy?

 **dadd** **æ :** i thought he'll make osamu shut up but he caught up to a serious case of atsumu syndrome

 **tsundere brat :** nah i dont think its atsumu syndrome its just their genetic desease

 **a mistake :** OI YOU STOLE MY IDEA YOURE THE MISTAKE

 **a mistake** changed miya's name to **the actual mistake.**

 **the actual mistake :** SHUT UP TSUMU IM SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTER ONE

 **the actual mistake :** now who tf is daddæ

 **drunk aunt :** HJSFDSNS NOO 😭😭

 **daddæ :** im semi from shiratorizawa lol

 **the actual mistake :** oh the pretty good setter from spring high last year?

 **the actual mistake :** the one that bangs man stared at the whole ga-

 **tsundere brat :** NOT THE POINT

 **the actual mistake :** ah yes

 **the actual mistake :** so what did tsumu do

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** we wanted to tell you that he got oikawa'd but it turns out that sharing a braincell is a genetic disease in the miya family

 **the actual mistake :** okay wow when the fuck did ushijima get reincarnated as a setter

 **a mistake :** see samu, here we have people of our kind and people and people from a completely different breed

 **a mistake :** welcome to the place where yOU DONT BELONG

 **a mistake** removed **the actual mistake.**

 **drunk aunt :** i wanna cry

 **drunk aunt :** 😭

 **snek go hiss :** "a mistake removed the actual mistake"

 **bara arms kink :** bUT

 **bara arms kink** changed miya's name to **no no mistake.**

 **bara arms kink :** miyA IS NOT A MISTAKE

 **no no mistake :** WHICH MIYA

 **bara arms kink :** tHE PRETTY ONE

 **salty brat :** oh so osamu

 **no no mistake :** OI

 **snek go hiss :** lol nice

 **salty brat :** thanks

 **daddæ** : oh

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** oh no

 **kitty cat :** daddy's mad

 **daddæ :** fUCK OFF

 **bara arms kink :** OBVIOUSLY ATSUMU IS THE PRETTIER ONE

 **bara arms kink :** bUT i am the epitome beauty 😩

 **kitty cat :** any askers ????

 **snek go hiss :** lmao 

**sakuatsu wingman :** atsumu-san

 **sakuatsu wingman :** atsumu-san

 **sakuatsu wingman :** why are you still online

 **no no mistake :** i cAnt?

 **sakuatsu wingman :** its 8:12

 **sakuatsu wingman :** room check

 **no no mistake :** OH

 **no no mistake :** thANKS TOBIO-KUN YOURE SO NICE

 **drunk aunt :** says the one who threatened to slit his throat a day ago >:(

 **best mommy award :** kogane go to sleep !

 **kanekogawa :** ok moniwa-san !!!!!

 **kitty cat :** at 8? seriously?

 **daddæ :** we don't sleep we die like men

 **tsundere brat :** die in your sleep

 **daddæ :** GO AWAY 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> headcanon that kenma watches streams as much as he plays games


	11. 011

1:39AM

**no no mistake :** GUYS GUYS GUYS 

**no no mistake :** *inhale* 

**no no mistake :** aaaAAAAAHHHHHH

 **drunk aunt :** SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS 1:40 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING ARENT YOU IN CAMP ACT LIKE YOU ARE SHITHEAD 

**bara arms kink :** HI BEAUTIFUL !! 

**no no mistake :** HI BESTIE !! 

**drunk aunt :** IGNORED. WONDERFUL.

 **no no mistake :** SOMETHING WONDERFUL JUST HAPPENED 

**bara arms kink :** ENLIGHTEN ME 

**daddæ :** why are you guys awake and SCREAMING 

**tsundere brat :** well why are you awake semi-san? 

**fucking spy :** he was thinking about you ALLLLLLLLL night ;) 

**tsundere brat :** i hope you fuck a cow. 

**best mommy award :** wh- wha- why- 

**daddæ :** anywAYS 

**no no mistake :** aaaAAAAAAHHHHH 

**bara arms kink :** TELL US ALREADY !! 

**kitty cat :** fuck i feel like im in a girls sleepover teenage dream shit 

**no no mistake :** SO I WENT TO THE BATHROOM 

**snek go hiss :** WOW ! 

**fucking spy :** FASCINATING 

**tsundere brat :** SO AMAZING 

**daddæ :** INTRIGUING 

**kitty cat :** POG 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** breathtaking 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** ! 

**bara arms kink :** OI >:( 

**bara arms kink :** CONTINUE ATSU 

**daddæ :** oik i thought we were besties 😐 

**bara arms kink :** yOU ABANDONED ME FIRST 

**no no mistake :** i went to the bathroom like fifteen minutes ago ,,

 **no no mistake :** and tHEN

 **bara arms kink :** AND THEN ?

 **no no mistake :** I SAW OMI-KUN IN A CAT HEADBAND

 **no no mistake :** JSHJWBSUDJWHDJA  
HDWNCUSNWJDJCUJSJSJDJHSUDNAKAJFKWFIXNA

 **bara arms kink :** GASP

 **drunk aunt :** STOP SAYING GASP

 **bara arms kink :** MOAN

 **drunk aunt :** goodbye.

 **bara arms kink :** SHUT UP SUGA WHAT IF YOU SAW SAWAMURA WEAR A CAT HEADBAND ??

 **drunk aunt :** d-die 

**best mommy award :** did you just- 

**daddæ :** hey

 **dadd** **æ :** hey shirabu 

**tsundere brat :**? 

**daddæ :** kawanishi told me you have a cat headband 

**daddæ :** why do you never wear it 

**tsundere brat :** wait 

**tsundere brat :** what 

**tsundere brat :** stop 

**tsundere brat :** lmao 

**tsundere brat :** i dont have one 

**tsundere brat :** haha 

**fucking spy :** *intense blushing* 

**tsundere brat** changed yahaba's name to **cow fucker.**

 **cow fucker :** OH OKAY 

**cow fucker** changed shirabu's name to **semi fucker.**

 **semi fucker** cleared their name.

 **shirabu :** i have this thing called a brain and i actually use it ! 

**cow fucker :** f UCK YOU 

**shirabu :** stay mad ig ? 

**best mommy award :** i ship you guys so much ugh 

**shirabu :** ikr !! yahaba x cow is canon 😩 

**best mommy award :** i dIDNT- 

**best mommy award** changed their name to **moniwa = defeated.**

 **shirabu :** suits you well ! 

**snek go hiss :** go bestie ! 

**fucking spy :** f UC K

 **no no mistake :** NO YOU GUYS CAMT BE FRIENDS

 **daddæ :** oh wow 

**snek go hiss :** posessive much? 

**daddæ :** no- 

**snek go hiss :** dont have the balls to confess ay? 

**daddæ** removed **snek go hiss.**

 **daddæ :** it was necessary. 

**kitty cat :** he was just added a day ago chill daddae 

**kitty cat** added **sakishima** to the chat.

 **sakishima :** lol too pussy to- 

**daddæ** removed **sakishima.**

 **daddæ :** hE DOESNT BELONG HERE 

**shirabu :** OI 

**shirabu** added **sakishima** to the chat.

 **daddæ :** i hATE YOU WITH A BURNING PASSION

 **shirabu :** thATS FUNNY CUZ SAME LOL

 **no no mistake :** that went from uwu to fuck you real quick 😍😍🥰🥰

 **bara arms kink :** for the first time i agree with sakishima 😍😍🥰🥰😘😘

 **sakishima :** 'where we resolve the unresolved sexual tension' 

**sakishima :** it is yet to be resolved. 

**daddæ :** pleASE VANISH 

**bara arms kink :** OH OH OH

 **bara arms kink :** ATSU ATSU 

**bara arms kink :** WHAT HAPPENEND NEXT 

**no no mistake :** HE SAW ME AND THEN HIS EYES WENT *PACIFIC OCEAN* 

**no no mistake :** OMI WAS STILL WEARING A GODDAMN MASK ?? BUT HE WAS LIKE PANICKING KSYJFUXIWBRU NHANJ? 3&5* (,2&,*!*2,";JSJFJXND 

**sakishima :** betting 800 yen he was blushing.

 **kitty cat :** nah, 1000 yen 

**kitty cat :** we die like men 

**no no mistake :** WELL OF COURSE HE WAS HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRASED

 **moniwa = defeated :** fucking goddamn oblivious little shit 😊

 **moniwa = defeated :** no offense atsumu but you're so dumb ❤ 

**drunk aunt :** your language when kogane's not around 😩 

**bara arms kink :** CONFESS TO HIM !! HE'LL BE MORE COMFORTABLE FOR YOU TO SEE HIM IN A CATBAND 

**no no mistake :** he already said that ! 

**bara arms kink :** w 

**bara arms kink :** wh

 **no no mistake :** we're friends now !

 **bara arms kink :** WHA 

**no no mistake :** last year the only words we exchanged to each other was "pisshead", "scrub", "show-off", "dumb shit who sanitizes his hands every ten seconds", "the other miya is better" and the list goes on so ,,

 **no no mistake :** progress?? 

**bara arms kink :** oh

 **fucking spy :** atsumu my man,

 **fucking spy :** you went through a lot.

 **daddæ :** i relate to that so much lmao

 **bara arms kink :** wh 

**bara arms kink :** i 

**bara arms kink :** hh

 **kitty cat :** oikawa? iliterate 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** hotel? trivago

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** enemies to lovers is so,,,,

 **sakishima :** incredible? 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** incredible. 

**shirabu :** im confused ?? 

(spoiler alert ,, he's not 😳😳) 

**sakuatsu bonus thing cuz atsumu is hot lol**

[ a/n: pretend it's day five,, i cant make the all-jpn camp be half of the book eEK- im also not taking any of the irl parts in this book seriously aT ALL 😁👍 all goofy vibes here <3 ] 

"you know, sometimes i think atsumu is an accidental thirst trap." motoya blurts out on their five minute break before they start practicing again, making sakusa almost spitting out his water.

instead, he choked on it, coughing a couple before looking at motoya with a confused expression. "what the fuck?"

"i mean, look," motoya trails off, pointing at atsumu—

pointing at atsumu _taking off his shirt and using it to wipe his sweat before putting it back on, side-eyeing sakusa_. 

the goddamn side-eye. 

_the goddamn side-eye_. 

"oh, omi-kun," atsumu says together with an exhale, "ya tired already?" 

" _fuck_ — i- _no_ , miya, not at all." 

"tch." motoya click his tongue. "kageyama, mission failed." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the people who read this btw :) <3


	12. 012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the person who requested sakihiroo, here ya go :) 
> 
> update : i forgot to make the list of usernames... let me just... procastinate and do it for the next chapter-

"atsumu-san, if you want your toothbrush back, now's the chance."

"i ain't dippin' my hand in the fucking toilet bowl for a toothbrush. im fine. very."

he zips his bag clothes and looks over to kageyama, who's staring at him with a disappointed look.

"what?"

"the thirst trap trick didn't work."

"wh-"

suddenly, the door slams open. "atsumu, you shit!" hoshiumi shouts with an angered expression.

atsumu immediately got the hint, and pulled out his famous shit-eating smile.

"see, i wanted to borrow yer toothbrush but i didn't know it was a _kids_ toothbrush with a fucking _seagull_ sticker on it, i wont tell anyone," now he's smiling with his eyes too, and if anything, hoshiumi was slowly turning into a seagull.

"i swear to god atsumu, im gonna strangle you-"

"with those tiny hands? very cute."

"listEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT-"

"that's ironic coming from you," atsumu exclaimed when his grin grew wider.

hoshiumi took a deep breath and a step back.

" _imgonnakillyou._ "

(aka what kageyama would call, _death by birb._ )

"how do you even manage to do that." a cold voice, who atsumu immediately recognised as sakusa's, followed with the boy himself and his cousin, already wearing itachiyama jackets.

atsumu's eyes were fixed on sakusa's unwavering gaze, and he wonders how this'll be the last day before spring high that he'll ever see those black pool of eyes again.

he smiles, lacing the wave of bitterness he felt with the sweetest of fake smiles.

but if there's one person who's never fooled by his fake emotions, it's sakusa.

he pulls down his mask, to atsumu's surprise, only to smile back in the faintest way, but one that atsumu had seen when they're alone. it's reserved for him, him only, and his heart threatens to explode.

when they're alone, they're in their own world.

when they're _alone_ , which they're _not_.

"look, i get that you're gonna miss each other but please don't flirt in front of me, it makes me feel very single."

sakusa's fond expression now turned to a scowl as he put his mask back on and turns to his cousin.

"motoya, please refrain from breathing."

the scowl on his face didn't stay for long because atsumu stood up and tugged his neon jacket. he's _smiling_ , and it's not shit-eating or fake, he's smiling, to him, for him.

"bye, omi-kun," he says softly, so softly that it sounds like a whisper. sakusa smiled under his mask, nodding, _see you in nationals, atsumu._

kageyama's disappointed, sure, but now he learned that relationships take a few steps before the real thing.

he hoped that him and hinata could be like them too.

━━━

4:27PM

**sakuatsu wingman :** the parting scene was very sweet

 **no no mistake :** OH FUCK OFF

 **drunk aunt :** your training camp was... a ride to watch :)

 **bara arms kink :** tOBIO CHAN GO TEXT CHIBI CHAN TELL HIM YOURE GONNA COME HOME TO MAMA

 **sakuatsu wingman :** i already did

 **sakishima :** wait

 **sakishima :** what the fuck

 **sakishima :** did you text him "baby im coming home to mama" or shit?

 **moniwa = defeated :** this gUY OMG

 **cow fucker :** LMAO

 **sakuatsu wingman :** no he texted me asking if i came home safely

 **drunk aunt :** SWEET NICE WHOLESOME

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** you can tell how tired suga is with horny people

 **kitty cat :** like oikawa

 **bara arms kink :** OUI OUI OUI

 **shirabu :** ...what

 **cow fucker :** FRENCH BAKUGOU 😩

 **sakuatsu wingman :** semi-san 

**daddæ :** mhm? 

**sakuatsu wingman :** who's uh 

**sakuatsu wingman :** yūsho and akikura 

**sakuatsu wingman :**??? 

**daddæ :** oh they're the other first years 

**daddæ :** why'd you ask? 

**sakuatsu wingman :** hinata said he met them and um 

**sakuatsu wingman :** talked about them 

**sakuatsu wingman :** a lot 

**sakuatsu wingman :** and um 

**sakuatsu wingman :** "goshiki-san's super cross shot is so cool!!!!" 

**sakuatsu wingman :** "kogane and goshiki-san are really cute together!!!" 

**daddæ :** IM PROUD 

**drunk aunt :** kAGEYAMA'S JEALOUS OHOHO 

**sakishima :** yes yes watch your kouhais get a boyfriend before you 

**drunk aunt :** i already have a boyfriend and he gives me flowers LOL 

**daddæ :** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS TO ME DIDNT YOU SAY YOU LOOKED UP TO ME 

**sakishima :** i've moved on from admiring people and now im very egotistical and wants a girl to date

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** that's oddly hetero

 **kitty cat :** emo boy rlly silent rn

 **shirabu :** you mean semi-san?

 **daddæ :** im gonna drown myself in the pool.

 **shirabu :** so drown.

 **daddæ :** im taking you with me.

 **no no mistake :** OMG HE WANTS TO DIE WITH YOU SO SWEET

 **drunk aunt :** i dont understand how you came to that conclusion

 **drunk aunt :** like i said

 **drunk aunt :** i wanna just

 **drunk aunt :** cry

 **drunk aunt :** 😭 

**sakishima :** emo boy ?

 **sakishima :** who-

 **sakishima :** fuck

 **kitty cat :** oh yes, fuck indeed,

 **kitty cat :** "the way he styles his hair is kinda hot" isn't it ?

 **sakishima :** NO

 **bara arms kink :** 👀

 **no no mistake :** 👀

 **drunk aunt :** 👀

 **daddæ :** HAHA GO ON KENMA THIS IS SALT MATERIAL

 **sakishima :** PLEASE DONT-

 **kitty cat :** "his eyes are like black holes SUCK ME IN"

 **moniwa = defeated :** WAIT WHAT

 **moniwa = defeated :** IS THAT A METAPHOR OR LIKE THE SUCK SUCK

 **drunk aunt :** "SUCK SUCK" 😭

 **kanekogawa :** hi guys !!

 **moniwa = defeated :** WRONG TIMING

 **kanekogawa :** suck suck?

 **moniwa = defeated** removed **kanekogawa.**

 **moniwa = defeated :** for educational purposes :)

 **sakishima :** kENMA

 **sakishima :** i'll come to nekoma and rOAST LEV ALL YOU WANT I'LL EVEN BRING SUGURU

 **kitty cat :** add kuro and tora in your hitlist and we got a deal

 **sakishima :** dEAL

 **daddæ :** lol sakishima i can do better than that

 **daddæ :** kenma show me this hiroo guy i shipped a fucking game console to you

 **kitty cat** sent a photo.

**sakishima :** KENMA YOU'RE SO EASILY BRIBED

 **kitty cat :** you just bribed me

 **no no mistake :** IS THAT OMI-KUN'S LONG LOST BROTHER BAHSJAHASDF

 **shirabu :** hold on

 **shirabu :** lmao i see it

 **daddæ :** LOL you're in love with THIS guy ?? 😂😂😂😂

 **sakishima :** SHUT UP IM NOT

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** "SUCK ME IN"

 **sakishima :** DONT SAY THAT OUT OF CONTEXT YOURE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA HIS EYES JUST LOOK LIKE A BLACK HOLE WHATS THE BIG DEAL

 **kitty cat :** the fact that you're in class five and he's in class six is cute

 **sakishima :** WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

 **kitty cat :** nothing really

 **kitty cat :** he can be in any class and i'd still say it's cute because you like him

 **sakishima :** I ?? DONT ??

 **daddæ :** YES SHOW ME MORE

 **daddæ :** THE FALL OF SAKISHIMA

 **sakishima :** YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A THIRD YEAR TOO YOU ACT CHILDISH

 **daddæ :** SAYS YOU, LOSING IT BECAUSE OF A CRUSH ON AN EMO BOY

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** shirabu being like, "b-but me too-"

 **shirabu :** fuck off ripoff ushijima-san

 **bara arms kink :** MOAN

 **bara arms kink :** YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE

 **drunk aunt :** MOAN IS WORSE USE GASP INSTEAD

 **bara arms kink :** GASP

 **sakuatsu wingman :** wha

 **sakuatsu wingman :** did i cause this

 **cow fucker :** yea kageyama, i think you fucking did, and thank you. you are a national treasure. you are the king of kings, you are a blessing to this world.

 **sakuatsu wingman :** wh

 **sakuatsu wingman :** wgat

 **sakishima :** ITS NORMAL TO COMPLIMENT A FRIEND THO ?? LIKE KUROO SAYS BOKUTO IS HOT AND THEYRE JUST BROS

 **no no mistake :** isumi-kun, i like omi-kun but i never want his eyes to "suck me in"

 **sakishima :** you want proof ?

 **sakishima** added **kuroo** and **bokuto.**

 **kitty cat :** uh oh

 **bokuto :** hEY HEY HEY

 **kuroo :** BRO

 **bokuto :** BRO

 **sakishima :** oi bokuto

 **bokuto :** yES??

 **sakishima :** what do you think of kuroo's eyes?

 **bokuto :** i cant think because i get lost seeing them

 **kuroo** **:** bro...

 **bokuto** **:** bro...

 **bokuto :** BUT AKAASHI'S ARE PRETTIER

 **kuroo :** OW

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** oh

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** um

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** thank you bokuto-san

 **bokuto :** hold on

 **bokuto :** AKAASHI ?

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :**...yes

 **bokuto :** f OC K

 **bokuto** left the group.

 **kuroo** **:** get together already bro...

 **ushiwaka 2.0** **:** im not your 'bro' go away

 **kuroo :** 😔😔

 **moniwa = defeated :** why did he say fock tho

 **kuroo** **:** we had a conversation about how fuck and cock sounds good together so we made a new word 😋

 **moniwa = defeated :** i regret asking.

 **kuroo :** also kitten why are you in a groupchat called 'where we resolve unresolved sexual tension' 

**kitty cat :** get out 

**kuroo :** open your window 

**kitty cat :** k 

**kuroo** left the group. 

**daddæ :** what- 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** welcome to tokyo 

**sakishima :** kids, what did we learn today??

 **sakuatsu wingman :** that hiroo-san's eyes can suck you in and you can still be bros? 

**sakishima :** i-

 **drunk aunt :** CRAP I FORGOT YOU'RE STILL HERE

 **sakuatsu wingman :** i personally do not think that is possible, sakishima-san

 **sakishima :** hey kageyama, can you do me a favor?

 **sakuatsu wingman :**????

 **sakishima :** choke yourself to sleep

 **sakuatsu wingman :** suga-san always says that suicide is not the answer and suga-san is my senpai so no

 **sakishima :** im a third year so im your senpai too ?? 

**sakuatsu wingman :** suga-san is my FAVOURITE senpai

 **drunk aunt :** AW KAGEYAMA THANK YOU 

**bara arms kink :** WHAT ABOUT ME??

 **sakuatsu wingman :** oikawa-san is special too

 **sakuatsu wingman :** he's my most disliked senpai 

**bara arms kink :** OUI 

**cow fucker** changed oikawa's name to **ouikawa.**

 **cow fucker :** french bakugou 😩


	13. 013

7:32PM

**sakishima :** help

 **sakishima :** help

 **sakishima :** help

 **sakishima :** help

 **sakuatsu wingman** **:** first time you ever texted the chat first and you're asking for help

 **shirabu :** what do u need lol

 **sakishima :** shirABU MY SAVIOUR

 **sakishima :** iM THIRD WHEELING SUGURU AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AND I REALLY WANT TO ANNOY HIM

 **ouikawa :** OMG YOU'RE WARMING UP TO THE GROUPCHAT

 **sakishima :** oh sorry if it looked like that i meant "im third wheeling suguru and mika help me break them up lol"

 **ouikawa :** WAIT NO

 **ouikawa :** whO IS SUGURU

 **sakuatsu wingman :** yes who is he

 **sakishima :** uh idk, a fucking human embodiment of a snake?

 **sakishima :** i swear i dont hate mika but if she asks "are you texting your girlfriend" and "go spend time with her" again im gonna screAM

 **sakishima :** DO I LOOK STRAIGHT TO YOU

 **shirabu :** oh i see

 **shirabu :** i'll let you suffer then

 **sakishima :** SCREAMS

 **sakuatsu wingman** **:** atsumu-san says saying aaaAAAAAHH works better

 **daddæ :** call hiroo tell him "mama pick me up from this hellhole"

 **sakishima** removed **daddæ.**

 **no no mistake :** OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED

 **no no mistake :** bUT i will not allow that to stay for long because semi is a cool guy <3

 **shirabu :** lol

 **no no mistake** added **semi.**

 **semi :** HAHAHAHAHA

 **semi :** SINCE IM COOLER THAN YOU IM IN CONTROL

 **ushiwaka 2.0** : semi-san are you five

 **moniwa = defeated :** he's like weirdly dominant energy but still has the mentality of the age five

 **drunk aunt :** 'dominant energy' 😃

 **semi :** omg moniwa are you turned on

 **moniwa = defeated :** EXCUSE ME

 **moniwa = defeated :** im not shirabu go away ‼️

 **shirabu :** moniwa-san i know im alluring but you dont have to mention me all the time ❤️

 **semi :** wow straight to the heart emoji

 **moniwa = defeated :** i breath.

 **shirabu :** unfortunately

 **semi :** having sakishima here made them forget how much of a brat you are lol

 **shirabu :** having sakishima here made me forget you

 **semi :** did you?

 **shirabu :** wait

 **shirabu :** wait what

 **semi :** btw sakishima

 **cow fucker :** I HATE THIS

 **semi :** guess what

 **sakishima :** im scared

 **semi** added **hiroo** to the chat.

 **sakishima :** I HATE YOU.

 **sakishima :** I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

 **hiroo :** you hate me?

 **sakishima :** NO NOT YOU

 **hiroo :** wow you finally use all caps and the first thing you say to me is i hate you

 **hiroo :** im very hurt 😔

 **sakishima :** konbini @ 8

 **sakishima :** i'll wait in front of your house

 **hiroo :** thnx isumi youre the love of my life

 **hiroo** left the group.

 **semi :** i

 **semi :** i dont understand tokyo schools

 **ouikawa :** omg

 **ouikawa :** ISUMI CHAN I UNDERSTAND

 **ouikawa :** LIKE WHRN THWY SYA I LOEVY OU BUT YOU KNWO ITS EITHER PLATONIX OR A JPKE SO IT JSUT H UR TS

 **kitty cat :** why did i understand that

 **sakishima :** 'isumi chan' ??

 **sakishima :** im not one of the cute girls you date every month to endure the pain of loving your bestfriend 🤢

 **ouikawa :** i-

 **sakishima :** anyways i will leave because i have a date with hiroo 👋

 **sakishima** **:** he probably thinks its not a date but

 **sakishima :** bye :')

 **sakuatsu wingman :** don't worry sakishima-san hinata probably thinks getting meat buns together after practice aren't dates too

 **ouikawa :** AYO HOLD ON

 **no no mistake :** WHEN WAS IT SAD BOY HOURS

 **ouikawa :** tobio-chan im 120% sure chibi loves you 😡😡

 **no no mistake :** since we are gloomy lets here a story of how stUPID SAMU LOOKED WHEN RIN PINNED HIM AGAINST THE WALL BEHIND THE GYM

 **drunk aunt :** ooh 👀

**yahaba → shirabu | private messages**

**yahaba :** now while theyre humiliating the other miya,,

 **yahaba :** WHAT THW FUCK IS GOING ON SHIRABU

 **shirabu :** atsumu's telling a story about his brother was pinned against the wall by their #10 middle blocker?

 **yahaba :** jfc you talk to sakishima too much 🙄

 **shirabu :** jealous?

 **yahaba** **:** no but see i THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES

 **shirabu :** newsflash, we arent

 **yahaba :** SHUT UP PUT THE SALT SHAKER AWAY

 **yahaba :** i meant you and semi

 **shirabu :** nothing?

 **yahaba :** "why do you never wear it"

 **yahaba :** "wow straight to the heart emoji"

 **yahaba :** "did you?"

 **shirabu :** oh

 **shirabu :** um

 **yahaba :** and your response was "wait"

 **yahaba :** "what"

 **yahaba :** "stop"

 **yahaba :** "lmao"

 **shirabu :** OKAY I GET IT THANKS

 **shirabu :** IMAGINE IF SOMEONE JUST ASKS WHY YOU NEVER WEAR A CAT HEADBAND OUT OF NOWHERE?

 **yahaba :** i'd only respond like that if it's kyoutani and you know very well what that means

 **shirabu :** i

 **yahaba :** everyone does, actually, we've been teasing about you guys a lot, and youre not dumb to not know that your feelings are mutual

 **shirabu :** ugh fine

 **shirabu :** i l word him

 **yahaba :** which l ?

 **shirabu :** the one that ends with an e

 **yahaba :** both ends with an e ?

 **shirabu :** AAAAHH i liKe hIm

 **shirabu :** ew thats disgusting kenjirou wtf

 **yahaba :** PLEASE OMFG

 **yahaba :** you just liKe him??

 **yahaba :** not the one that has o in it?

 **shirabu :** EW THATS MORE DISGUSTING

 **shirabu :** who'd love someone like him lmao

 **yahaba :** you apparently

 **shirabu** **:** its annoying

 **shirabu :** can he confess already

 **yahaba :** IM GONNA CRY

 **yahaba :** DO IT YOURSELF

 **shirabu :** NO YAHABA I HAVE TOO MUCH PRIDE TO DO THAT

 **yahaba** **:** clearly he does too so are you just gonna let him be bold like this until he graduates and neither of you have a chance anymore ?

 **shirabu :** wait

 **yahaba :** ????

 **shirabu** **:** hhh

 **shirabu :** i hate this love thing

 **yahaba :** i used to too but its nice when you finally get it

 **shirabu :** what do you mean 'when you finally-

 **shirabu :** hold on

 **yahaba :** wOw oMg yAhaba actUally gEts fOreheAd kissEs frOm kyoUtAni!

 **shirabu :** EW LOVE DISGUSTING

 **shirabu :** WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

 **yahaba :** WELL YOU SAID WE ARENT BESTIES

 **shirabu :** FINE MAYBE WE ARE

 **yahaba :** HAHA ONE WIN FOR ME

 **shirabu :** BUT TAICHI IS BETTER LOL I HATE YOU

 **yahaba** **:** OW ME TOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small break after this!


	14. 014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dont do cocain kids

**semi → oikawa | private messages**

**semi :** OIKAWA

 **semi :** OIKAWA

 **semi :** OIAKWA

 **semi :** OIKA

 **semi :** OIK

 **semi :** HELPSLCJSDH

 **oikawa :** HI SEMI WHAT DO YOU NEED

 **semi :** HE HAS IT

 **semi :** THE

 **semi :** THING

 **semi :** CAT

 **semi :** FLUFFY 

**semi :** ADORABLE

 **semi :** CUTE

 **semi :** BAND

 **oikawa :** WHAT?

 **oikawa :** OH

 **oikawa :** GAY PANIC

 **oikawa :** SHIRABU ISNT IT

 **oikawa :** WAIT YOU GUYS STILL WATCH MOVIES AT YOUR DORMS AW

 **semi :** KDJFLDJFOEKDJDJS

 **semi :** IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

 **oikawa :** W H A T ???

 **semi :** OWNING CAT HEADBANDS

 **semi :** IS TJAT EVEN LEGAL IN JAPAN

 **oikawa :** SEMI-

 **oikawa :** IT FUCKING IS??

 **oikawa :** OMG LOVE MAKES YOU DUMB

 **semi :** SHUT UPLDKFKSNDJS

 **semi :** I HAtE TRHIS

 **oikawa :** YOU'RE LOVESTRUCK THO ??

 **semi :** GO AWAY

 **oikawa :** HELLO?? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TEXTED ME "THING CAT FLUFFY ADORABLE CUTE" FIRST

 **oikawa :** LMAO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS

 **semi :** NO OIKAWA WTF

 **semi :** MY TRUST FOR YOU WOULD BE LIKE YOUR EXPERIENCE AT NATIONALS

 **oikawa :** HEY

 **oikawa :** NOW THATS JUST MEAN >:(

 **semi :** AAAAHHHHHDDDKFKLSFLS

 **oikawa :** ISTG IF YOU GUYS DONT DATE BY THE END OF THE DAY IM MARCHING TO SHITRKDKDODZAWA

 **semi :** NOPE.

 **semi :** HE'LL HAVE TO DO IT.

 **oikawa :** STUBBORN ASS BITCHES I HATE IT HERE

 **semi :** HES HERE

 **semi :** JFJSIDUS IS THAT A SWEATER

 **oikawa :** IT'S //JUST// A SWEATER??

 **semi :** SHIRABU'S WEARING IT ??

 **oikawa :** OMG.

 **oikawa :** YOURE SO WHIPPED.

 **oikawa :** BRB TELLING THE GC

 **semi :** WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

━━━

**where we resolve unresolved sexual tension | groupchat**

6:37PM

**ouikawa :** GUYS

 **semi** removed **oikawa.**

 **kitty cat :** pro gamer move 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** i've waited for too long.

 **sakuatsu wingman :** thank-

 **sakishima** added **oikawa.**

 **sakishima** changed oikawa's name to **constant yelling.**

 **sakishima :** fuck oikawa all my homies hate oikawa

 **sakishima :** especially my dms

 **constant yelling :** AWW LOVE YOU TOO 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 

**cow fucker :** iwA-

 **constant yelling :** I DO NOT SEEEEEEE 

**cow fucker** sent a photo.

( **sou :** i am proud to say that i screenshotted this myself while watching the jackbox stream <3)

 **constant yelling :** wait what did i want to say fuck i forgot 

**semi :** yeAy 

**sakishima :** omfg 

**sakishima :** im so sick of typing so ill only be responding with memes

 **shirabu :** your fingers dont work? i thought you were a setter?

 **shirabu :** did they break while coverinh your face while you cry over hiroo?

 **shirabu :** or are you just weak?

 **sakishima** sent a photo.

**drunk aunt :** im stealing that meme but im telling you first because i have manners ☺

 **moniwa = defeated** added **koganegawa.**

 **koganegawa :** moniwa san educated me 

**semi :** uh 

**shirabu :** what 

**no no mistake :** oh? 👀👀

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** no exclamation marks... 

**ushiwaka 2.0 :** it dropped from five to zero 

**kitty cat :** should i be concerned?

 **kitty cat :** nvm thats too tiring 

**moniwa = defeated :** i thought "damn maybe oikawa was right he's a highschool first year i cant baby him all the time" but then oh shit oikawa was never right so now im reconsidering my actions 😃

 **constant yelling :** dONT WORRY MONIWA I GOT THIS !!

 **constant yelling :** hey kogane?

 **koganegawa :** yes ???

 **constant yelling :** you can know indecent stuff but still be happy !!

 **shirabu :** oikawa its different with you because those 'indecent stuff' you know are a major part of your humor 

**constant yelling :** SHHH

 **constant yelling :** WATCH CLOSELY KOGANEGAWA

 **koganegawa :** i am watching 👀 !!!

 **constant yelling** added **hinata** to the chat.

 **sakuatsu wingman :** wait

 **sakuatsu wingman :** shcjdnsh waht

 **hinata :** wtf is this

 **semi :** AAANND HE MAKES ANOTHER GRAND ENTRANCE 

**no no mistake :** SHOYO-KUN !!!!

 **hinata :** who tf

 **no no mistake :** ITS ATSUMU

 **no no mistake :** THE COOL BLOND MIYA THATS A LOT BETTER THAN YOUR TOBIO-KUN HERE

 **hinata :** >:( when are you better than kageyama ???

 **sakuatsu wingman :** oi 

**sakuatsu wingman :** boke 

**hinata :** :0 kAGEYAMA ???? 

**hinata :** HI !!!!!! 

**sakuatsu wingman :** hi 

**sakuatsu wingman :** boke

 **shirabu :** omfg

 **hinata :** whats this group kageyama-kun???

 **sakuatsu wingman :** its the setters groupchat

 **sakuatsu wingman :** ...lol

 **drunk aunt :** THATS IT IM GOING TO SOB 😭😭😭😭

 **ushiwaka 2.0 : how** can someone be drier than me

 **kitty cat :** at least you're self aware

 **shirabu :** kenma, you're not any different

 **drunk aunt :** NO STFU ALL FOUR OF YOU ARE FUCKING DRY 😭

 **hinata :** omg suga-san swearing this is so different from those haikyuu youtube videos

 **semi :** how did you know- 

**cow fucker :** IM THE ONLY ONE IN CHARGE OF THE FOURTH WALL FUCKING LEAVE 

**hinata :** actually i will

 **hinata :** kageyama lets play minecraft!!!

 **sakuatsu wingman :** okay

 **hinata** left the groupchat.

 **kitty cat :** he... plays minecraft with other people too...

 **no no mistake :** dont you have that chad rooster captain ???

 **kitty cat :** pls no he'd repeat "what if i put my minecraft bed beside yours" like a fucking prayer 😐

 **sakuatsu wingman :** you can join us too kozume-senpai

 **kitty cat :** oh no no i'll let you go on your date alone ❤

 **sakuatsu wingman :**??? date ??? hinata doesnt like me ???

 **sakishima** sent a photo.

**no no mistake :** TOBIO-KUN I'LL LIST THE THINGS THAT PROVE HOW MUCH SHOYO-KUN LOVES YOU

 **constant yelling :** GO ATSU GO

 **no no mistake :** ONE he doesnt like me like im a literal god how can you not ??

 **moniwa = defeated :** TWO miya is a dumb bitchass setter who's too oblivious to realise his own problems regarding his crush on the top three aces with seaweed hair who keeps saying "please refrain from touching me" to anyone who's not the said dumb bitchass setter AND IT SHOWS 

**moniwa = defeated :** anyways continue :)

 **koganegawa :** HUH

 **constant yelling :** UM??

 **drunk aunt :** PLEASE I CANT CATCH UP WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO FUCKING CONFUSING

 **drunk aunt :** fuck crying im gonna bawl my fucking eyes out 

**semi :** stay strong suga 👍 

**moniwa = defeated :** hi im moniwa and im a fucking single mother 😩

 **no no mistake :** MONIWA-KUN WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY MEAN TO ME

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** its not sudden he literally lectured you about how dumb you were one time

 **moniwa = defeated :** ew 🤢🤢🤢 you guys are so weird 🤮🤮🤮

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** i 

**koganegawa :** hold on...

 **koganegawa :** futakuchi-senpai ???

 **moniwa = defeated :** snitch 😫😫 

**shirabu :** pls wtf 

**koganegawa :** 😮😮😮 why do you have moniwa-san's phone ??? it's almost 7??!!!

( **sou :** im so sorry aofuta shippers)

 **moniwa = defeated :** because i like his bestfriend? take a hint dumbass 😂😂😂 

**moniwa = defeated :** WAIT NO I DONT 

**kogangawa :** WHAT?? YOU LIKE KAMASAKI SAN??? 

**moniwa = defeated :** update : he said "fuck there goes my pride and ego" and passed out 🥰 

**moniwa = defeated :** anyways whats popping? 

**constant yelling :** OMG GREAT FUCKING TIMING RIGHT THERE 

**constant yelling :** I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO SAY 

**semi :** shit

 **constant yelling :** SEMI AND SHIRABU STILL WATCH MOVIES TOGEETHER 

**semi :** fuck there goes my pride and ego *passes out* 

**shirabu :** why 

**sakishima** sent a photo.

**shirabu :** semi san i fucking hate you please get out of my dorm 

**semi :** see the feeling is mutual but that's not my concern rn 

**kitty cat** sent a photo.

(© kurribon on twitter)

 **kitty cat :** literally them 

**kitty cat :** anyways stream where are the askers by alex is tall on soundcloud 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY WHAT THE FUCK IS MY HUMOR 😭😭


	15. 015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **semi :** SHIRABU KENJIROU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHERE ARE YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hc that oikawa watches fundy for like no reason at all

6:29PM

**constant yelling :** guys so apparently you cant show your dick power by using the cable equipment at the gym

 **drunk aunt :** uM??? 

**no no mistake :** TOORU-KUN WHAT 

**moniwa = defeated :** WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT

 **constant yelling :** KENMA!!!

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** what?

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** kozume?

 **kitty cat :** oh my god

 **kitty cat :** he asked for streamers to watch so i introduced him to some people he might like

 **constant yelling :** AND THEN THERE WAS THIS ONE FURRY STREAMING SUPER SEDUCER 3 HE'S SO FUN I LOVE HIM LMAOO 

**kitty cat :** it's- it's fundy

 **constant yelling :** AND THEN HE GOT DRUNK

 **no no mistake :** HE DRANK WHILE STREAMING LIVE??

 **no no mistake :** IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED ON TWINK

 **kitty cat :** whAt

 **kitty cat :** TWINK???????

 **constant yelling :** AHSHDKANDKA

 **constant yelling :** ATSU OMG

 **no no mistake :** WHAT??

 **drunk aunt :** iM SOBBING

 **drunk aunt :** ISNT IT CALLED TWITCH

 **no no mistake :** OHHHH

 **no no mistake :** im

 **no no mistake :** im embarrassed

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** you're an embarrassment on a daily basis it's normal

 **no no mistake :** OI >:(

 **semi :** shirabu

 **semi :** shirabu unblock me

 **semi :** ...please??

 **semi :** STOP SEENZONING ME SHIRABU FUCKING UNBLOCK ME

 **drunk aunt :** ...what happened?

 **semi :**??? HE BLOCKED ME ???

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** yea, why

 **kitty cat :** ^

 **semi :** HOW AM.I SUPPPOSED TO KNOW

 **sakishima :** yo try asserting dominance by telling that his smile is like your dick

 **constant yelling :** ISUMI YOU WATCH HIM TOO BAHAHAH 

**semi :** WHAT THE FXUK????

 **cow fucker :** OH MY GOD

 **shirabu :** REFLECT ON YOUR FUCKING ACTIONS DICKHEAD

 **semi :** OH SO NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO TYPE??

 **semi :** WHAT DID I DO WRONG

 **shirabu :** OH. YOU CANT READ? REFLECT. ON YOUR FUCKING ACTIONS.

 **shirabu :** DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU DIMWIT??

 **semi :** DONT CALL ME DIMWIT ITS DISRESPECTFUL YOU DIMWIT

 **shirabu :** SPEAK FOR YOURSELF YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE

 **no no mistake :** WHY DID IT CHANGED TO THIS I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP

 **sakuatsu wingman :** ...it's 6:30pm 

**no no mistake :** SO?

 **constant yelling :** WAIT WHY ARE YOU GUYS FIGHTING WHY DID SHIRABU BLOCK YOU SEMI

 **semi :** THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HERE???

 **semi :** HELP???

 **shirabu :** im gonna piss

 **semi :** ??? WHAT????

 **semi :** ??????????????????????????

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** that's- that's a lot of question marks for someone like semi

 **semi :** OH AKAASHI YOU OBSERVANT SAVIOUR CAN YOU HELP ME

 **ushiwaka 2.0 :** no

 **semi :** RUDE 

**semi :** SHIRABU ARE YOU DONE PISSING

 **semi :** TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING

 **drunk aunt :** fucking hELL CANT YOU GUYS SETTLE THIS IN YOUR GODDAMN DORMS

 **semi :** IM AT A KONBINI WITH SATORI BECAUSE HE DRAGGED ME TO BUY JUMP MANGAS OR WHATEVER BECAUSE WAKATOSHI IS BUSY

 **semi :** SHIRABU KENJIROU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHERE ARE YOU

 **constant yelling** : WAIT

 **constant yelling :** WAIT WHAT

 **no no mistake :** OMG

 **drunk aunt :** HUH

 **sakishima :** YOU HAVE BALLS 

**semi :** uh oh

 **semi :** oh fuck

 **semi** deleted a message.

 **shirabu :** k back

 **cow fucker :** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 **cow fucker :** DID YOU ACTUALLY NOT SEE THAT??

 **shirabu :** see what?

 **kitty cat** left the group.

 **sakishima** left the group.

 **shirabu :** what

 **shirabu :** whats going on

 **constant yelling :** THISNIS SO ANNOYING

 **no no mistake :** IM GONNA CRY

 **drunk aunt :** FUCK CRYING IM VIOLENTLY SOBBING IM BAWLIGN MY EYES OUT

 **shirabu :** IM CONFUSED TELL ME WHAT DID //I// DO WRONG??

 **semi :** great timing 

**constant yelling :** BAD TIMING

 **koganegawa :** good evening!!!!!

 **constant yelling :** BAD TIMING

 **koganegawa :** gUYS I GOT GOSHIKI'S NUMBER!!!!! :D

 **semi :** ...good for you :)

 **moniwa = defeated :** thats cool kogane!

 **semi :** hey

 **semi :** hey moniwa 

**semi :** how do i delete myself

 **moniwa = defeated :** wh- what?

 **cow fucker :** guys should i tell him?

 **constant yelling :** no shhh let him guess

 **shirabu** **:** WHY

 **shirabu :** WHO 

**shirabu :** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON CAN SOMEONE TELL ME

 **semi :** guys omg theres a new chapter for that supernatural manga

 **shirabu :** DONT CHANGE THE TOPIC

 **semi :** fuckery fuck fuck i crave death

 **ushiwaka 2.0** added **kenma** to the groupchat.

 **kenma :** same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee i guess it's about time i do something about them 🙄🙄 /j


	16. 016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is after shirabu let it slide because they wouldnt tell him anything btw

9:28PM

**yahaba → shirabu | private messages**

**yahaba :** YOOOO TAROU GAVE ME CHOCOLATES TODAY

 **shirabu :** i didnt need to know that why tf do you even call him tarou its disgusting 🤢🤢

 **yahaba :** we're besties ofc you have to 🥰🥰🥰

 **yahaba :** also letting you know that tarou willingly held my hand in practice and didnt care about our teammates' teasing and blushed a whole fucking lot 🥰🥰😍😍❤️❤️

 **shirabu :** HAHAHAHAHHA WOOOOW CONGRATULATIONS YAHABA YOU HAVE A BEE PARTNER I GET IT 😂😂😂😂😂

 **yahaba :** 😁 he's not a fucking bee 😁

 **shirabu :** dont care. anyways oikawa blackmail

 **yahaba :** iwaizumi-san and oikawa-san walked home together today without any attempt of murder <3

 **shirabu :** i dont need to know that either 😐😐 i need valentines shit for the BLACKMAIL yahaba BLACKMAIL

 **yahaba :** ,, well oikawa-san shared the valentines chocolate that he got from the girls with iwaizumi-san

 **yahaba :** does that count??

 **shirabu :** they're hopeless.

 **yahaba :** yea but you kinda are too 💀

 **yahaba :** please dont kill me im too young and i have a boyfriend ;((

 **yahaba :** AND YOU DONT 😂😂😂

 **shirabu :** HAHA DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND NOR YOUR AGE ILL JUST KILL YOU ANYTIME I WANT.

 **shirabu :** anyways i witnessed tENDOU-SAN ONCE AGAIN HOPPING AROUND AND PECKING HIS BESTFRIEND TODAY

 **yahaba :** BAHAHAHAH WHAT???

 **shirabu :** AND THEN HE JUST FUCKING JUMPED IN FRONT OF USHIJIMA-SAN AND YELLED "HAPPY VALENTINES BABY", GAVE HIM THE CHOCOLATE AND JUST LEFT??

 **yahaba :** LMAOAOAO 

**shirabu :** AND THEN USHIJIMA-SAN JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE "oh. shirabu. did you see my bestfriend that's sliding down the stairs with yamagata at the moment give me valentines chocolates just now?" AND I JUST NODDED ONCE AND HE WENT RED AND NODDED BACK.

 **shirabu :** DID I REALLY ENROLL TO THIS SCHOOL BECAUSE OF HIM??

 **yahaba :** PLS 💀💀

 **yahaba :** THIS MIGHT BE BETTER THAN SHIRABU KENJIROU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHERE ARE YOU 

**shirabu :** pardon?

 **shirabu :** better than

 **shirabu :** what

 **shirabu :** ???

 **shirabu :** "SHIRABU KENJIROU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE" ???

 **yahaba :** uh oh

 **yahaba :** uh oh

 **yahaba :** uh oh

 **yahaba :** well that was dumb 😃

 **shirabu :** ???

 **yahaba :** hahahaha its a funny story 😂😂😂

 **shirabu :** block button looking hella sexy rn.

 **yahaba :** well,,

 **shirabu :** wait a sec someone knocked on my door

 **yahaba :** thANK YOU PERSON WHO KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR 😍😍

 **shirabu :** you're still telling me or you'll never see kyoutani again

 **shirabu :** quite literally.

 **yahaba :** ...hahahahha okaaaay ☺️

_incoming voice call from_ **_shirabu._ **

yahaba raised an eyebrow, rubbing his fatigued eye to fix his blurred vision. 

"shirabu? i think you accidentally—"

"hey, shirabu, how long did you think i'll 'hide' feelings?"

yahaba paused. he muted himself and put shirabu on speaker.

"semi-san?"

he gasped. _holy shit._

he heard the door creak and close, thuds of footsteps following after.

_hooooly shit._

yahaba covered his mouth with his hand to supress the loud gasp elicited from the name.

he didn't stop smirking after he removed it. 

sounds of shuffling were heard, and another series of footsteps hinted that semi was walking closer.

yahaba listened more carefully than he had ever did in his life, bringing the phone up to his ear while sitting upright from his laying position.

_thank you shirabu,_ he thinks, _you just brought me blackmail material of yourself._

"where you waiting for me to break and confess?" a deeper voice that was semi's spoke, and the sound that is made when a door is banged was heard, and a gasp.

( _yahaba_ would know how banging a door sounds like better than anyone else.)

(unsurprisingly.)

_hooooooly fucking shit._

━━━

rapid heartbeat. cheeks aflame. fond eyes.

pinned against a door.

shirabu's having a hard time deciding whether or not did he need this right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS LOL


End file.
